Dreams

I watched the film 'the science of sleep' with Rach last night, it is a weird film that keeps mixing between dreams and real life so you don't know what's what. e.g if dreams were green and real life was red the film would be brown not green and red.

We had a big chat about dreams afterwards, I'm quite proud of some of my dreams these are my best dream achivements:

I once drept in a scouce accent.

I once drempt in arabic.

I once drempt in arabic but an arab was teaching me more arabic that I didn't know (which unfornately was wrong arabic because I remebered it and looked it up in my arabic dictionairy when I woke up.)

I once had a black and white dream.

I once had a dream that I hugged my 5 year old self.

I once had a dream that was narrated by a patronizing woman all the way through.

I once had an underwater dream where everyone I knew had just their heads attached to fishes tales.

I once had a dream where I realised I was dreaming and what ever I did didn't matter so I went naked to school, (I wasn't totally concious though or I would have chosen to do something more fun like fly)

There are probably more that I can't remember. When I was about 5 I thought that when you dream about someone they are also having the same dream at the same time but from their perspective like in real life, if your talking to someone they're listening to you. When I asked someone who I drempt about if they enjoyed the dream they looked at me as if I was a nutter and thats how I found out it . I would like to make a booked called 'I spy dreams' which would be a rip off of these crap books I was given as a child which were called 'I spy birds' or 'I spy on the motorway' you basically look for thinks like a pigion or a certain kind of roundabout and tick them off in the book and when you've done a whole book full you can send off for a badge. I always though it was silly as the book cost so much more than a badge and they have no proof you've seen all the things so I always cheated. Anyway an 'I spy dreams' book would be cool I could have ticked off all my current dream acheviments and I would aim for more like this:

A dream from someones perspective other than my own.

A dream from the point of view of an inanamate object.

An entirely auditory dream (a blind person I know only has sound dreams)

A dream that is an exact replica of an ivent that has already happened.

A dream where I get to talk to God.

A dream within a dream.

A dream where I learn more arabic but it is attually all right arabic.

The same dream at the same time as someone else.

I love everything today

I'm really happy and bouncy today I was like this yesterday too, I think it's the sun. like when I was at red traffic lights on my bike this morning I thought 'oh great I'd love a little rest in the sun right now'. I think I've got the opposite of seasonal affective dissorder, where the sun makes me crazy. It's good I like it. I'm wearing my new leggins it's an odd feeling that I haven't had for about 10 years, (the feeling of leggins that is not the feeling of happiness) I think I attually may have saved myself a few thousand pounds with them, because one of the main issues I would like to resolve in my life is I would like to wear skirts and dresses more but I can't because of cycling. My previous idea was to have driving lessons pass my test and get a car and all those borring other things you have to get when your getting a car like insurance, M.O.Ts and furry dice. but now because of my leggins that cost £8 I've saved all that money, which I should probably now spend on dresses. When I was 11 I once made a personal rule that I would never wear a skirt by choice. I don't know what happened...attually I do I think it was puberty.

7 new rules

I've just purchased a pair of black leggins with pink buttons attached...but don't judge me first I would like to explain my groud rules

1) first thing I will do is rip the pink buttons off

2) I will only wear them under a dress or skirt E.g I will wear them as more apropriate tights not less apropriate trousers.

3) I am never ever going to wear them with just a top even it it's a long top.

4) I am not becoming a scally or joining any other new sub-culture

5) the purpose of the leggings is to allow dress wearing whilst bike ridding.

6) anyone reading this has the resonsibilty to hold me accontable to these rules.

7) the rules will be reviewed months from now on 29th noverber 2009.

I had a funny dream about clothes last night, I drempt my house got burned down and I couldn't got to work because the only clothes that didn't get burned didn't go with eachother.

Hannaversairy

It was our 2 year Dan 'n' Hannaversairy yesterday, That meens it was two years since me and Dan started going out and two years since A.C millan beat liverpool see the post called 'the story of Han and Dan' for more details.

To celebrate we went to the fair in the mystery park (I'm not sure why it's called the mystery maybe that is the mystery) I purswaded Dan to go on a ride called 'the frisbee' it was like a pirate ship that also span round. I loved it, Dan did not. When we went sailing he was sick 10 times in one day and it wasn't even stormy or anything. So I thought he would be sick and I was wondering whether it would be ruder to be sick on me or on some strangers but luckly it didn't happen.

The fair inspired us to attempt to make toffee apples, which are made from sugar, water, butter and vinagar... oh yeah and our secret ingedience apples. I remember the time I discovered that toffee apple had apples in them. Gutted, I thought they were solid toffee. We served then on chopsticks and all our friends came round to eat them. mmmm.

I like being half of the superhero duo Han and Dan. It's great, thank for the roses Dan, they're lovely. xx

Breasts

A young girl recently asked me to sponcer her to do a fun run, she said it was for 'breast awareness day' I'm sure she probably ment breat cancer awarness day, but I responded by saying that I will sponcer her however I'm pretty sure most people are aware of breasts.

Then is my head I went off on one a bit about if breast awareness day was a real thing what would it be like. I imagained some of the statistics and slogans they would use on their posters:

'Did you know that half of all british adults are currently living with breasts?'

'breasts- on average everyone has one'

'breast are more than just balls of fat babies suck on, did you know they produce a nutrious drink whislt at the same time being asthetically pleasing?'

That last one needs a bit more work I think.

p.s If your intrested (which you probably aren't) Picton clock's four faces are now all reading different times but the hands arn't moving.

Neigbourhood Watch

I've been doing G.C.S.E exam invidulation this week. When the most exciting moment of you day is a kid putting there hand up and saying they're pen is broken, you have to wonder what you're doing with your life. So I wanted to do something a bit creative to combat my boardem, I really wanted to play leap frog over the long lines of little tables which were set out in the sports hall, and even though I wasn't specifically told that I couldn't, I think it was implied.

So I started writting a musical, inspired by a neigbourhood watch news letter I once read when I lived in Burton Green, it said that everyone should be extra viglent because someone has had thir wellies stolen from there shed. It amused me.

This is the opening number to my musical: 'Neighbourhood Watch the Musical'

(dedicated to the Burton Green Neibourhood watch group)

Old Ladies:

If you don't care about real crime or genral disturbia,

If you want to do something without leaving middle class suburbia,

If you've nothing to do, once you've watered and weeded,

Then join neighbourhood watch and stick your nose where it's not needed.

Criminals:

Watch out lads, its the neighbourhood watch crew,

oh no, I'm scared, what am I going to do.

If I'm getting into mischeif I will have to flee,

in case the nosy neighbours are spying on me.

Old Ladies:

If you want to have a good gossip and a cake,

come and join our club, what great friends you will make,

creaping, snoping sneeking is how we spend our time,

don't worry, in our village there is no real crime.

Resident:

I was shocked and apauled when I recently read,

someone in my postcode had wellies stolen from his shed,

the scary thing is I wouldn't have known better,

had I not recived the neighbourhood watch newsletter.

I have vowed to be cautious forevermore,

and will always leave my wellies inside my locked door.

Picton Clock

What's going on with picton clock? I enjoy picton clock it's really the only way you can tell if your going to be late for work whilst your cycling there. I did try looking at my watch once but I think it ended in disaster, well not totally disaster, really it ended in mild pain and embarrasment.

A few months ago the clock disapeared, the whole face was taken off and the hole in the tower was covered with black wood. that made me sad. I'm not sure why it happened, I guessed the council were cutting back on spending and didn't want to waste money lighting it at nights. Every time a saw it it made me think What time is it?-- death O'clock, or half past death or 10 to death or whatever. maybe I'm just a little bit morbed, but I took it personally like the council were saying directly to me 'there is no use for time any more, not one has jobs or money or routine we are just living in a land of constent death' I don't think normal people take things like that so personnally but I'm an artist so colours meen a lot to me, if they had painted it white it would be totally different.

Anyway this morning a new clock face had been put back on but there were no hands, and this afternoon at around 4pm when I cycled past the hands were on but the time was 12. oooh mysterious, what message are the council sumblimanally trying to put into our minds today? It's like an exciting soap opera if that wasn't an oxmorone. (I've just had a thought, why isn't a soap opera a opera about soap?!)

I will end today's blog with two quote from today the first from a kid from my art class, and the second from the singing teacher:

1) I would Lyricaly castrait him if he did that (she ment literally)

2) I can just see you, out of my profiter roll vision.

Boats

I went home this weekend to see my family and collect my belated easter eggs, it was a good year, the best for a long time I got a cream egg one a green and blacks butterscotch and a white choclate thorntans one with my name on it, it's times like this that a wonder if this ressecion talk is all a lie, the govelment should take what kind of easter eggs people are getting into account more when they are deciding if we are in an economic downturn or not.

The most fun part of my weekend was rowing in Lemington there were lots of people who went but are boat was the funnist by far because it had 3 fun people in it. I think I won't say their names to protect their need for anonoamousness but I will just give intresting facts about them:

Person A Once nearly exploded himself in a very dangerous bomb making experiment.

Person B Once won an award for most inapropriate behaviour whilst being on an alter.

Person C is not a relitive but has had baths with me and once had a bath with my mum! we also once went throught the macdonnalds drive through in a supermarket trolly together.

So it was a very interesting combination, esspecially as person A and person B continually played the guitar, in the car in tesco and on the boat, and person C climbed up a tree.