Me and Dan discovered last night how not to toast marshmellows. If you want to not toast marshmellows and you have three hours to spare follow these simple instructions:
1) Pick a really windy night.
2) Buy some marshmallows and a lighter and cocktail sticks, they are the best kind for not toasting marshmallows, don't get skewers that might work!
3) Borrow a topless car and have the roof down even though its windy and night time, and drive to a beach.
4) collect some dampish wood
5) dig a whole in the sand so you get down to the silghtly damp bit
6) build the fire from balls of screwed up paper (the shiny not that flamable kind) and the damp wood.
7) spend about half a hour attempting to light the paper
8) get really excited when its finaly lit but a bit disaponted when you realises the wood will never catch fire.
9) get alot of smoke in you eyes and mouth.
10) give up trying to light the wood and have a paper only fire.
11) in the ten seconds of fire, quickly get out the marshmallows and put them on the cocktail sticks and hold them to the fire.
12) enjoy a slightly warm marshmellow and a slightly burnt hand.
P.S in connection with my last post, my mum emailed be another argument for skinny jeans, which is they use less fabric and therefore are more enviromentally friendly/ energy efficiant. However if this is true how come those tree hugging hippy types always wear flares?! someone should tell them.
Thursday 26 February 2009
Tuesday 24 February 2009
sub-cultures
I do not understand them. I was talking to my class today who deffinatly would come under the scally/chav catogorie on acount of their tracksuits, lack of education, drug use and other criminal activties. They were telling me about when some goths started on them in town and they are meeting for proper fight on saturday when each team has chance to gather a bigger army of followers. I can't quite imagain how this conversation went did they all get out their diarys? did they dicide on a proper time and place because with the amount of people involved, it will need to be well organised.
I asked why they were going to fight them, they said 'because they're goths and they called us scallies.' so I think it all boils down to the fact that the goths chose to wear predonminately black and although the scallies do too, but their fabric of choice is more sythetic black where as the goths prefere more natural fabrics. It's so stupid, its like all the people in the world who prefere buttons fighting all the people who prefere zips.
I wonder what sub-culture I am in, I like to think I'm not in one but I think everyone thinks that. I went through an adidas phase when I was about 12, and then decided that adidas was the route of all evil and quicksilver was very cool when I was about 15. So maybe I was part of a surfy sub-culture then. Not one that involved surfing obviously, a kind of watered down 'I live in a suburb of covenrtry' surf culture.
I saw a photo of my sister sarah wearing skinny jeans today, I curently don't own a pair so I wonder if that means we are in different sub-cultures? I'm not sure of my opinion on these, I remeber the first time I ever saw somone in fared jeans, I was about 10 and I thought it was riddiclus and was certain it would never happen to me, but obviously it did. and then when I was about 19 ish skinny jeans came in and I was certain that would never happen to me and it hasn't yet. but it could happen at any moment!! arrggghh! I know this because I have started to build up for and against arguments in my head and there are now 5 arguments for and only 3 arguments against:
For:
1)easier for cycling.
2)looks nice with boots.
3)everyone one's doing it so I won't stand out.
4)I think I'm the right kind of shape for them.
5)it's enevitable.
Against:
1)I may be joining a different sub-culture without knowing it and get beaten up by whatever subculture I am in now.
2)I said I'd never do it.
3)It makes your feet look big.
I asked why they were going to fight them, they said 'because they're goths and they called us scallies.' so I think it all boils down to the fact that the goths chose to wear predonminately black and although the scallies do too, but their fabric of choice is more sythetic black where as the goths prefere more natural fabrics. It's so stupid, its like all the people in the world who prefere buttons fighting all the people who prefere zips.
I wonder what sub-culture I am in, I like to think I'm not in one but I think everyone thinks that. I went through an adidas phase when I was about 12, and then decided that adidas was the route of all evil and quicksilver was very cool when I was about 15. So maybe I was part of a surfy sub-culture then. Not one that involved surfing obviously, a kind of watered down 'I live in a suburb of covenrtry' surf culture.
I saw a photo of my sister sarah wearing skinny jeans today, I curently don't own a pair so I wonder if that means we are in different sub-cultures? I'm not sure of my opinion on these, I remeber the first time I ever saw somone in fared jeans, I was about 10 and I thought it was riddiclus and was certain it would never happen to me, but obviously it did. and then when I was about 19 ish skinny jeans came in and I was certain that would never happen to me and it hasn't yet. but it could happen at any moment!! arrggghh! I know this because I have started to build up for and against arguments in my head and there are now 5 arguments for and only 3 arguments against:
For:
1)easier for cycling.
2)looks nice with boots.
3)everyone one's doing it so I won't stand out.
4)I think I'm the right kind of shape for them.
5)it's enevitable.
Against:
1)I may be joining a different sub-culture without knowing it and get beaten up by whatever subculture I am in now.
2)I said I'd never do it.
3)It makes your feet look big.
Thursday 19 February 2009
Hair cuts
Yesterday I paid £23 to have bits of me cut off whilst having to maintain a small talk conversation with the stranger who was doing the choping. Its called going to the hair dressers and aparently it's normal, some people even enjoy it!
This was the 5th time I've been in my life, the first time was when I was 19 before that a man used to come round to the house and do it, I had a childhood fear of him and then when I was 17 he became my driving instuctor and that was also weird. He would recomend hair syles whilst I was trying to do 3 point turns and he would ask me driving theory questions whist he was cutting bit off my hair. I failed my driving test 4 times...but enough of my tragic past, I would like to know what is the normal thing to do when going to the hairdressers because talking about tyre depth tread certainly isn't normal. So they say 'how do you want your hair?' and all that and then there's that bit of unessisary conversation where they inevitably ask 'what do you do?' I can answer that, but then what? I can't ask them what they do because they are doing it.
I discoverd what you don't do...don't make stupid jokes when you don't know what to say, it confusses them. When they had you the recipt say 'thanks' don't say 'In what circumstance would I need this?.....If I decided I wanted a refund and I would like all the hair to be put back on again?!' they do alkward faces and look puzzled.
This was the 5th time I've been in my life, the first time was when I was 19 before that a man used to come round to the house and do it, I had a childhood fear of him and then when I was 17 he became my driving instuctor and that was also weird. He would recomend hair syles whilst I was trying to do 3 point turns and he would ask me driving theory questions whist he was cutting bit off my hair. I failed my driving test 4 times...but enough of my tragic past, I would like to know what is the normal thing to do when going to the hairdressers because talking about tyre depth tread certainly isn't normal. So they say 'how do you want your hair?' and all that and then there's that bit of unessisary conversation where they inevitably ask 'what do you do?' I can answer that, but then what? I can't ask them what they do because they are doing it.
I discoverd what you don't do...don't make stupid jokes when you don't know what to say, it confusses them. When they had you the recipt say 'thanks' don't say 'In what circumstance would I need this?.....If I decided I wanted a refund and I would like all the hair to be put back on again?!' they do alkward faces and look puzzled.
Tuesday 17 February 2009
A Cyclists Anguish
Whilst cycling home yesterday I wrote a song entitled 'A Cyclists Anguish' It need to be sand in the style of heavy metal/ angry rock.
Verse 1
We cut you up and we don't care
It's your fault for being there
we'll knock off wing mirrors and the like
because we are ridding on our bikes.
Chorus
And Just like the israeli arab minority
We'll fight against you the enemy majority
Because much to our hillarity
You think you've got priority.
Verse 2
We don't pay road tax, we're not insured
The anger in us can't be cured
we long for the day petrol runs out
Because then how will you get about
Bridge
to live in Holland is my aim
where cyclists are at the top of the metaphorical food chain*
*the views expressed in this song are not exactly the views of the writer, however the writer thought it would be more interesting to write a angry song than a song in which they are just mildly annoyed.
Verse 1
We cut you up and we don't care
It's your fault for being there
we'll knock off wing mirrors and the like
because we are ridding on our bikes.
Chorus
And Just like the israeli arab minority
We'll fight against you the enemy majority
Because much to our hillarity
You think you've got priority.
Verse 2
We don't pay road tax, we're not insured
The anger in us can't be cured
we long for the day petrol runs out
Because then how will you get about
Bridge
to live in Holland is my aim
where cyclists are at the top of the metaphorical food chain*
*the views expressed in this song are not exactly the views of the writer, however the writer thought it would be more interesting to write a angry song than a song in which they are just mildly annoyed.
Friday 13 February 2009
Being Bi-regional
Last night I had a dream where everyone spoke in a scouce accent. I'm quite pleased it means I must be fluent in scouce. People who are bi-lingual often dream in two languages it is like a sign that they are really good at a language and they think in that language. and so I think I can now declair after 3 and a half years of living in liverpool I am now officially bi-regional. Even though the only thing I can say in a scouce accent it 'eee'
Thursday 12 February 2009
Pregnancy Tests
Last night my boyfrind and I ....... (I'm not going where you might think I might be going) we went to our church AGM meeting which was secreatly disguised as a "drinks reception" I'm am proud to say he was norminated for a frontline hearos award. People were norminated for all different reasons like years of volunteering when they are ill ect, Dan was norminated (by me) for being the only man on inform (the pregnacy crisis councilling thing) and for his commitment shown by taking a pregancey test. Yes I am proud to say Dan nearly got and award for weeing on a stick. He deseved it, not many men have taken a pregnace test. even though it must be a lot easyier for men than women. I was realived to discover he wasn't pregnant.
Monday 9 February 2009
Solve this equation
I've been thinking more about the book thing and have reduced all my book issues to this one maths question:
I wibble's wages are £6.49 per hour and on average day in the gallery she works for 8 hours with one of those hours being her lunch break and too of those hours being taken up by being on reception, and the averave book costs £8 and takes around 8 hours to read, but reading makes the time feel like it's going at around twice the speed of just sitting doing nothing, what should she do?
(please take into account what would make her working day most finacially viable as well as enjoyable and remember to show your working.)
A) give up reading
B) give up her job
C) keep Buying books
D)Join a libary
I wibble's wages are £6.49 per hour and on average day in the gallery she works for 8 hours with one of those hours being her lunch break and too of those hours being taken up by being on reception, and the averave book costs £8 and takes around 8 hours to read, but reading makes the time feel like it's going at around twice the speed of just sitting doing nothing, what should she do?
(please take into account what would make her working day most finacially viable as well as enjoyable and remember to show your working.)
A) give up reading
B) give up her job
C) keep Buying books
D)Join a libary
Sunday 8 February 2009
A Confesion
My Name is wibble and I read books...there we go I've said it, and addmiting you've got a problem is the first step to dealing with it. It started in primary school we were forced to read every day but I was never a ture reader, I never enjoyed it or anything and I remember being stuck on this book for about the whole of year 6 and I had to compleate it before I could ever move on to a new book it was called the adventures of the little wooden horse and it was absolute rubish.
Then in secondary school reading became a lot more optional and I oppted out, in fact I don't think I read more than 5 books for the whole of secondary school. Then I was dyagnosed with dyslexia when I was 16 - great I thought this is a valid excuss to have a life free from words.
I chose to study Art at uni - the least wordy subject, the easyist subject to spell and it mainly invoving pictures. But this is where the problem started. I was given a buddget of £200 per year to spend on books because of my dyslexia (oh the irony- that's like giving a vegitarian £200 a year to spend on meat) but I din't want to waste the money and I had got quite good at thinking of ways round it (e.g once I was given a £10 book token which I spent buying a birthday present book for my sister and I made it a joint present from me and my other sister so she gave me £5 in cash)
So I decided to start buying books full of photos and I took luke and will on a little shopping trip too once. Then when I was going to palestine and knew there would be no t.v I bought a couple of novels which I quite enjoyed. Then I graduated and the money stoped coming. This is what you should watch out for it's what drug dealers do give you free stuff and get you hooked and the put up the price. I now work in an art gallery where you basically sit all day and make sure no one nics the art. You have to do something to keep your mind occupied or you go crazy.
I started bringing in a sketch book but I often run out of things to draw.....argh what do I do. Anyway on friday a craked under the pressure and bought a book, not with book tokens with real atual money, I think the feeling is simular to the first time you take drugs on your own not to be cool just coz your addicted. The book was £8 and I read half of it on the day I bought it, if I carry on like this I might as well take up smoking it would be cheaper....I'm even considereing joining a libary to fund my book habbit.
Please do not judge me I am talling you this so that it won't happen to you, I never though it would happen to me. It's to late for me know but saves youseves! this is how it starts reading internet blogs, befor you know it it will be magazines then books! you may even one day own a waterstones loyalty card!!!!! arghhhhhh.
Then in secondary school reading became a lot more optional and I oppted out, in fact I don't think I read more than 5 books for the whole of secondary school. Then I was dyagnosed with dyslexia when I was 16 - great I thought this is a valid excuss to have a life free from words.
I chose to study Art at uni - the least wordy subject, the easyist subject to spell and it mainly invoving pictures. But this is where the problem started. I was given a buddget of £200 per year to spend on books because of my dyslexia (oh the irony- that's like giving a vegitarian £200 a year to spend on meat) but I din't want to waste the money and I had got quite good at thinking of ways round it (e.g once I was given a £10 book token which I spent buying a birthday present book for my sister and I made it a joint present from me and my other sister so she gave me £5 in cash)
So I decided to start buying books full of photos and I took luke and will on a little shopping trip too once. Then when I was going to palestine and knew there would be no t.v I bought a couple of novels which I quite enjoyed. Then I graduated and the money stoped coming. This is what you should watch out for it's what drug dealers do give you free stuff and get you hooked and the put up the price. I now work in an art gallery where you basically sit all day and make sure no one nics the art. You have to do something to keep your mind occupied or you go crazy.
I started bringing in a sketch book but I often run out of things to draw.....argh what do I do. Anyway on friday a craked under the pressure and bought a book, not with book tokens with real atual money, I think the feeling is simular to the first time you take drugs on your own not to be cool just coz your addicted. The book was £8 and I read half of it on the day I bought it, if I carry on like this I might as well take up smoking it would be cheaper....I'm even considereing joining a libary to fund my book habbit.
Please do not judge me I am talling you this so that it won't happen to you, I never though it would happen to me. It's to late for me know but saves youseves! this is how it starts reading internet blogs, befor you know it it will be magazines then books! you may even one day own a waterstones loyalty card!!!!! arghhhhhh.
Wednesday 4 February 2009
Emo Dolphins
Today I taught my art class about surrealism. I started by explaining what it was and then getting them all to make a guess of when they thought the surrealist movement started. The closest person got a sweet. Answers ranged from "at the dawn of time" to "2008" which was quite a wide range. I then asked them if they could name a surrealist painter and the answers were "that guy who choped off his ear" and "Dick van dyke"
Hmmm.. I quickly moved on to getting them to think of surreal things they could draw my favorite was the emo dolphin I can't wait to see that painted and on the wall.
Hmmm.. I quickly moved on to getting them to think of surreal things they could draw my favorite was the emo dolphin I can't wait to see that painted and on the wall.
Monday 2 February 2009
quality street
This weekend was one of my best weekends I've had in a long time partly because I didn't have work and partly because it involved a lot of eating. It started with the most incredible breakfast at Rachel's on saturday morning I had: scrambled eggs, beans, bacon, croisons, pain au chocolate, great fruit with sugar and cinamon and pancakes with choclate sauce! any weekend that starts in that way is bound to be great.
The most funny part of the weekend was Tina's party on saturday night, she decided she wanted to do something different and that going to a kaylee would be fun (it is atually spelt something like ceilidh or something ridiculus but I refuse to spell it like that) Tina is a 1st year student and like most first years she lives in accomadation that resembles a prison/refugee camp. Me and Joy the only non-students arrived at the halls, to meet Tina friends who were all dressed up in a normal student night out kind of a way. We walked down to this place expecting to see a load of other students but there was just a very old and very un-cool looking church hall filled with 60 year old women in long flowery skirts. eeew.
We decided to brave it anyway, there was a least a bar, even if it did have a swear box behind it. I was getting used to the idea that we would soon be dancing with these people when I spoted someone I knew, a teacher I used to be a teaching assistant for. I was a bit enbarrased to be seen there and shocked that I had attually chosen to socialise at the same place as her. 'This is wrong! I'm only 23, too young to die and to young to do this kind of dancing that happens about 10 years befor death' I thought.
The dancing begain and it was atually really fun, I'm normally not a fan of dancing because I'm rubish at it but this kind of dancing to quote Joy is 'taking the mic out of dancing-dancing' They attually tell you what to do, imagine if they did that in clubs it would be great, I wouldn't look so lost. We had a raffel in the interval. All our lot bought a strip of tickets, except me who just bought 1 ticket, you never win so whats the point. I wanted to reduce my chance of winning anyway as the woman I knew was sitting right by where you go to collect your prize. Tina won first which was great as it was her birthday, we all cheared in a way that was slightly to loud for the enviroment we were in, and then Tina picked the next ticket it was a bit bias because we all had orange tickets and so she picked an orange one, which was mine. Chocolates!!! everyone shouted at me as I went up to the table, I quickly scanned the table:
a box containing vegtables-no
some borring looking envelopes-no (who would donate envelopes!)
bottles of stuff -no
choclate bars- hmmm
or a big jar of quality street-yes!
I took the jar and picked the next ticket, I'm not proud of this but I have to admit that I saw the colour of the ticket and the number and knew it was one of our group. If your not going to fold up the tickets properly thaen thats what you should expect.
I had to talk to the teacher too, it was alright she's atually nice and I could tell her about how the class were getting on since she left. Our group carried on winning because we kept picking our own colour tickets, and i discoved that there was a massive hamper I could of won but I didn't because I thought they were all seperate things in a basket thing, and it turned out the borring envolopes had intresting things inside them like a meal out for too in the egg one of my favorite restrants. I can't complain though 20p for a jar of quality street isn't bad.
The most funny part of the weekend was Tina's party on saturday night, she decided she wanted to do something different and that going to a kaylee would be fun (it is atually spelt something like ceilidh or something ridiculus but I refuse to spell it like that) Tina is a 1st year student and like most first years she lives in accomadation that resembles a prison/refugee camp. Me and Joy the only non-students arrived at the halls, to meet Tina friends who were all dressed up in a normal student night out kind of a way. We walked down to this place expecting to see a load of other students but there was just a very old and very un-cool looking church hall filled with 60 year old women in long flowery skirts. eeew.
We decided to brave it anyway, there was a least a bar, even if it did have a swear box behind it. I was getting used to the idea that we would soon be dancing with these people when I spoted someone I knew, a teacher I used to be a teaching assistant for. I was a bit enbarrased to be seen there and shocked that I had attually chosen to socialise at the same place as her. 'This is wrong! I'm only 23, too young to die and to young to do this kind of dancing that happens about 10 years befor death' I thought.
The dancing begain and it was atually really fun, I'm normally not a fan of dancing because I'm rubish at it but this kind of dancing to quote Joy is 'taking the mic out of dancing-dancing' They attually tell you what to do, imagine if they did that in clubs it would be great, I wouldn't look so lost. We had a raffel in the interval. All our lot bought a strip of tickets, except me who just bought 1 ticket, you never win so whats the point. I wanted to reduce my chance of winning anyway as the woman I knew was sitting right by where you go to collect your prize. Tina won first which was great as it was her birthday, we all cheared in a way that was slightly to loud for the enviroment we were in, and then Tina picked the next ticket it was a bit bias because we all had orange tickets and so she picked an orange one, which was mine. Chocolates!!! everyone shouted at me as I went up to the table, I quickly scanned the table:
a box containing vegtables-no
some borring looking envelopes-no (who would donate envelopes!)
bottles of stuff -no
choclate bars- hmmm
or a big jar of quality street-yes!
I took the jar and picked the next ticket, I'm not proud of this but I have to admit that I saw the colour of the ticket and the number and knew it was one of our group. If your not going to fold up the tickets properly thaen thats what you should expect.
I had to talk to the teacher too, it was alright she's atually nice and I could tell her about how the class were getting on since she left. Our group carried on winning because we kept picking our own colour tickets, and i discoved that there was a massive hamper I could of won but I didn't because I thought they were all seperate things in a basket thing, and it turned out the borring envolopes had intresting things inside them like a meal out for too in the egg one of my favorite restrants. I can't complain though 20p for a jar of quality street isn't bad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
