yesterday I was very ill, at first it was the fun kind of ill where you watch t.v all day and then it went to the not fun kind of ill where you can't look at light and you want to chop your head off, luckily Dan suggested phoning NHS direct instead. Now I'm back to the fun kind of ill where you sit in bed at 11.32am writing a blog and sneezing.
When I first got ill the night before last I went up for a rest just after tea and lovely Dan did all the cleaning up. My throat got scratchy and I got a bit of a headache and I didn't want to shout downstairs to him so I did a very lazy thing and phone the hose phone from my mobile. I said 'I feel poorly can you come upstairs' in a really pathetic voice. Unfortunately he heard 'I feel horny can you come upstairs' and he was up in a flash. He may have been a little disappointed to be sent out to co-op to get soothers and paracetamol, but as it says in the marriage vows:
when I'm skint and when I'm loaded,
when I'm poorly when I'm horny,
if it life's wicked or if it's pants,
you have to love me till I die (and probably for a bit afterwards)
and I will too.
lets spit on it. (because that is what a kiss is really)
Love you Daniel. xx
Thursday 27 October 2011
Thursday 13 October 2011
Oh My Gosh!!
So we were driving back from creative writing the other day where I had just written a semi-autobiographical piece about my littlest sister. If your one of the few people who read it- yes I did take my baby sister in for show and tell, but no I don't have a step dad that works in a plus size fancy dress store, or a nan with a toy boy.
We've had a few problems with our car lately it had a new clutch a couple of weeks ago and then last week we found out the clutch wasn't put in properly and so a thing to do with the clutch came out of another thing and that made the car stop and people beep at me. (I wonder if when people were beeping they were just beeping because actually they were swearing but it was 4pm and there were children around so they had to beep their own swearing out. Is that what car horns are for?) Anyway Dan was driving a few of us home and then he suddenly went 'OH MY GOSH!!' I thought the car was going to break again but it turns out he just has a moment of realisation.
'OH MY GOSH!! A MUSLIM CAT CAN HAVE 9 LIVES AND 9 WIVES!!'
after a lot of lol-ing we discussed whether if we were Muslim cats with 9 lives and 9 wives would we have one wife per life or have a few single lives and a few 2 wife lives. I think actually Muslims are only allowed 5 wives but I'm not sure about Muslim cats.
We've had a few problems with our car lately it had a new clutch a couple of weeks ago and then last week we found out the clutch wasn't put in properly and so a thing to do with the clutch came out of another thing and that made the car stop and people beep at me. (I wonder if when people were beeping they were just beeping because actually they were swearing but it was 4pm and there were children around so they had to beep their own swearing out. Is that what car horns are for?) Anyway Dan was driving a few of us home and then he suddenly went 'OH MY GOSH!!' I thought the car was going to break again but it turns out he just has a moment of realisation.
'OH MY GOSH!! A MUSLIM CAT CAN HAVE 9 LIVES AND 9 WIVES!!'
after a lot of lol-ing we discussed whether if we were Muslim cats with 9 lives and 9 wives would we have one wife per life or have a few single lives and a few 2 wife lives. I think actually Muslims are only allowed 5 wives but I'm not sure about Muslim cats.
Saturday 8 October 2011
The Joyous Job Center
I'm in a bit of a backlog of blogs. Since the wedding we had a honeymoon in crete which was great it was 'better than reading a book!' I'd love to tell you more behind that story but I'm only allowed to tell 'one or two people' and I've already told four. There's no restrictions on those for people though so if you want to know what happen ask Helen Rachel Danni or Grace. It's hilarious.
Since then we moved into our lovely new house we came back to a brilliant surprise of two kayaks in our garden! Dan thought it was a wedding present from my rich relatives but then we saw the card signed by all of our real life best friends none of whom our rich, and soon after we saw the photos of them carrying the kayaks quite a long way to our house.
So we've settled into normal life again now, Dan's been hard at work and I've been making ikea furniture and stuff. I was hoping to start doing my art workshops in schools again but no work was coming through my agency I tried contacting schools directly but without much luck. I had a job interview to be a part time nanny but I didn't get it so I thought maybe I could go on Job Seekers Allowance, I phoned up to ask 'can I go on it ask I'm self employed and have a tiny bit of work?' They didn't directly answer that question but they asked me a million questions about myself and my financial situation. Including 'does anyone care for you?' I know the answer to that is no but I didn't want to say that I wanted say 'yes my husband cares for me, and my parents and all the friends that chipped in to buy us kayacks'
So after about an hour of questions and him taking every boring detail of my life he told me that I had an apointment at 10.50 at the job center on Monday and they will sort me out with JSA. I've been on JSA 3 years ago and I know if your later for an appointment then you can get benefits cut off so it got to 10:40 and I was trying to choose whether to go by car or bike or legs and I picked legs...I started walking then I started running then I realised even if I run I will still be late so I ran back and got the car. I couldn't park that near so then I had to do more running but I just made it on time.
When I arrived I then had to wait in a queue before finally going to my appointment, and the first thing the woman said was I can't get JSA because I'm self employed! she did tell me that if I wanted to continue with my claim then I could but I would get any money.
'errr I think I've wasted enough time thanks'
'Ok well then you need to fill in this form saying that you formally want to withdraw your JSA application'
'but the first thing I said on the phone is can self-employed people with no work get JSA!'
'it's not their job to answer that question, it's only their job to ask you questions'
I think there are some job cuts that need to be made in job centers! stupid questioning man that is being paid with my taxes!!!!!
Since then we moved into our lovely new house we came back to a brilliant surprise of two kayaks in our garden! Dan thought it was a wedding present from my rich relatives but then we saw the card signed by all of our real life best friends none of whom our rich, and soon after we saw the photos of them carrying the kayaks quite a long way to our house.
So we've settled into normal life again now, Dan's been hard at work and I've been making ikea furniture and stuff. I was hoping to start doing my art workshops in schools again but no work was coming through my agency I tried contacting schools directly but without much luck. I had a job interview to be a part time nanny but I didn't get it so I thought maybe I could go on Job Seekers Allowance, I phoned up to ask 'can I go on it ask I'm self employed and have a tiny bit of work?' They didn't directly answer that question but they asked me a million questions about myself and my financial situation. Including 'does anyone care for you?' I know the answer to that is no but I didn't want to say that I wanted say 'yes my husband cares for me, and my parents and all the friends that chipped in to buy us kayacks'
So after about an hour of questions and him taking every boring detail of my life he told me that I had an apointment at 10.50 at the job center on Monday and they will sort me out with JSA. I've been on JSA 3 years ago and I know if your later for an appointment then you can get benefits cut off so it got to 10:40 and I was trying to choose whether to go by car or bike or legs and I picked legs...I started walking then I started running then I realised even if I run I will still be late so I ran back and got the car. I couldn't park that near so then I had to do more running but I just made it on time.
When I arrived I then had to wait in a queue before finally going to my appointment, and the first thing the woman said was I can't get JSA because I'm self employed! she did tell me that if I wanted to continue with my claim then I could but I would get any money.
'errr I think I've wasted enough time thanks'
'Ok well then you need to fill in this form saying that you formally want to withdraw your JSA application'
'but the first thing I said on the phone is can self-employed people with no work get JSA!'
'it's not their job to answer that question, it's only their job to ask you questions'
I think there are some job cuts that need to be made in job centers! stupid questioning man that is being paid with my taxes!!!!!
Sunday 2 October 2011
Wedding Prequel
While writing some thank you cards to bridesmaids I remembered a few funny little pre-wedding moments that weren't that funny at the time.
Photo by Daniel Charles Photography
One was the day before the day before where to reward ourselves for all our hard work icing the cake and buying flowers from at least 8 different shops we (me and my sisters) had what was meant to be a relaxing pampering night with face masks. We used the kind that you put on wait for 10 mins then peal off. Let me tell you if you genuinely believe that you have ripped off your eyebrow 2 days before you wedding that is not relaxing! you can watch that moment here:
Another non-relaxing moment was the incredibly stressful drive to southport in the least successful 3 car convoy ever. having a flat tyre and switching lanes constantly are not qualities of a good convoy leaded...you were provably best to loose me so early on Jo, in fact you got there before me without having ever driven in the northwest before so maybe you should lead next time.
On the morning of the wedding my hair and make-up person was an hour late which I have to say did not put me in the best of moods but luckily my lovely bridesmaid Rachel was there to offer two pieces of excellent advice.
1) 'Remember why your doing this.... it's about you and Dan making a promise to each other'
2) 'I'd be way more stressed out if this happen to me!'
Love you Rach.
Photo by Daniel Charles Photography
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