Funny Quotes of the Year

I wanted to get one more blog done this year to bring the total to an unimpressive 21. Joint lowest with 2014. Surprise surprise both years I gave birth in. Last blog was semi serious so this blog is going to be all the silly things my 3 year old has said this year.

Last year my sister Sarah made me a tea towel with his best quotes on, in 2016 he was between the ages of 14 and 28 months he was just learning to talk, so grammatically they weren't fully formed, but he's quite a chatter. So when he wanted me to wrap him in a blanket he said "Blanket the Percy" or when he wanted me to change his nappy: "Tidy the pooed"
My favourite for that year was when he described his first experience of death: "Woodlouse, OH NO, Harriet stamping"

He has continued to expand his knowledge of death... We were making a family tree and as we drew on his 3 great grandparents I mentioned the 5 dead ones, it's important for him to know about death right? Anyway he seemed ok with it all until a week or so later when we went to visit Dan's parents and over dinner with no context whatsoever he just came out with "Grandpa when you get old then you die" It was an awkward moment but grandpa took it well, it is true we just don't like to say it as adults.

His language has developed a lot this year to the point where he is almost a normal person, with just a few grammatical errors, like he always says "why can I can't" instead of just "why can't I" and a few words he pronounces with the wrong amount of syllables like "Sligh-te-ly" but he does come out with a few words that I'm like where did you pick that up? One day he told me he was "very competent" at jigsaws.

This year Percy wrote all the jokes in our crackers, things like:
"What do you call a pig with no legs? ...A lying down pig!"
and this twist on a classic:  "Doctor doctor I feel like the curtains are closed. open them any time."

So 2017 brought some cute quotes:
"do you want to be a dancer when you grow up?" "I'm a dancer now!"
some weird quotes: "Hello willy how are you today?"
some facts: "poo is yucky, wee is a bit nicer"
and some surreal ones: "the polar bear wants to eat his fish finger up-side-down"

So here are the top 2017 Percy quotes that made it to the tea towel:

Some of them take a bit more explaining like "that's just food-chicken" is the moment that Percy found out that chickens that we see at farms and chickens that we eat are the same thing.

And "I want a step mum" I was momentarily broken hearted, but turns out he just wanted the step.

Probably my favourite was when he recently described having a brother and a doll
"We have two babies, one made out of plastic and one made out of real"

love him

If you want to follow more funny quotes search #percyquotes on twitter or follow @comedyhan

If you want to get beautiful personalised gifts like this tea towel, check out Sarah Joy

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

A Letter To Myself

This time last year I wrote a not very happy blog. It was about how my parents were struggling to write their annual christmas boasting letter, a lot of things were up in the air for them, and I had had a difficult year too, being pregnant and homeless (not really homeless on the street...read more here if you're wondering.)

Well 2017 has been good to us, and things are no longer "up in the air" for me and my parents things are solidly down on the ground as we have both bought new houses this year. we moved into our house in February and then in May I gave birth to baby Eric.

2016 = Pregnant and homeless

2017 = New house New baby.

In fact it was Jo who didn't get a mention on the christmas letter this year... she just been working hard as a doctor this year with no major life changes. - You'll have to do better than that if you want a mention in the christmas letter Jo.

A previous conversation between my parents:
Dad- do you think Jo will mind that she didn't really get a mention?

Mum- No! they don't compare themselves like that

Dad- Hannah will.

So anyway this was meant to be a blog about how thankful I am to be where I am now in life compared to how 2016 ended.

When we were packing down the christmas decorations that we'd put up in our room last year I wrote a little note to myself and put in one of the tiny drawers of our wooden advent calendar, and forgot about it. At the end of November we had just bought a christmas tree and got the christmas box down from the loft when I came across the note I had written.

I cried a genuine tear.

I should point out that 2016 wasn't all bad, living with the Langston family had many advantages and we really enjoyed the summer there with their massive garden. But the uncertainty of not knowing how long we would be there, and getting caught up in what turned out to be a complicated house sale while also experiencing morning sickness was a bit too much at times. We sort of joked that we were were homeless, but obviously we weren't... we were just experiencing "housing based uncertainty" which is like 1% of the problems a real homeless person faces. So it got me thinking about real homelessness.

So far in life I've not had much luck helping the homeless, me and Dan once baked some cakes to give out to homeless people, and then one time me and my friend Helen befriended a Romanian homeless woman, we chatted to her whenever we saw her and sometimes gave her things. Once she told us she needed new shoes. So Helen said "lets go shopping" we wondered around St. Johns shopping centre pointing out cheap but practical trainers but she chose a pair of sparkly strappy sandals, which we awkwardly bought. That was a weird day.

So in November we had a Thankfulness Brunch. I provided a load of food and then people generously donated money to the Whitechapel centre, a Liverpool homeless charity. We made a thankfulness tree where we wrote things we were thankful for.

...and we made a den for the kids. Thanks to everyone who came. x

I loved getting excited about christmas this year, Percy is particularly interested in snow. Despite having never seen it, he likes to pretend that he is sledging, and he loves talking about snowmen. He's decided that he wants to live in Antartica when he's a grown up and has plans to take all of us and transport our house to Antartica. While in Antatrica he want to get a job as someone who fixes screwdrivers. He's a strange child.

So we were really excited when it when we heard it was going to snow here, I went out and bought a sledge in anticipation. Unfortunatly only a tiny bit of snow reached us. 

Trying to make the most of Liverpool's disappointing snow.

But I was determined to show him some snow. We got on twitter and searched the trending hashtag #uksnow to try and find the nearest place with deep snow and a hill. We ended up going just south of Delamere. 

I'm so glad we did it, it was magical...but if you're looking at this thinking "oh I would love to have children and do these wonderful things", you should also know it involved an hour of packing a spare outfit and snacks for everyone. And a good 5 or 10 minutes of crying at the end when we were trying to get into the car and get warm. Plus it had to be arranged around nap times and feeding times. All this for half an hour of fun before the boys got too cold. It was worth it though.

Merry Christmas from the Joneses.