Cheese Gun

Here is a copy of the letter I just sent to cheesestring:

Dear Cheesestring,
I had a funny thought a while ago which was ‘what would happen if you put a cheese string in a glue gun’ a couple of days ago at my friend’s cheese and wine birthday party I tried it out. Initially it didn’t really work because cheese string cheese isn’t solid enough to be pushed through a glue gun so we moulded some cheader to the right size and amazingly with a bit of poking it worked…the gun melted the cheese which could then be squirted into a cracker or whatever. All this was a silly experiment, but I actually think that the ‘cheese gun’ could be a marketable product. I think the target market would be young boys and maybe students anyone that like to have a bit of fun with their cheese really.

I realise health and safety might be an issue but I’m sure it is possible to create a hygienic low heat gun, maybe battery powered. I honestly think this could boost your sales, and I think that you would be the perfect kind of fun company to bring out such a product.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Hannah Jones.

Bath Toys

How many bath toys is too many bath toys for a couple with no children to own?

We have 12 and I think that is definatly too many. 'How did it that happen!' I here you cry, well it's not an interesting story but I will tell you anyway.

I had a plastic frog that I think was a present from ampsterdam when I was a teanager.

Then we bought our house an it came with 3 rubber ducks in a bowl of glass beeds in the bathroom.

Then we had a underwater themed fancy dress party and our friend Lydia came as a pond and left behing 3 frogs that were attached to her.

Then my sister gave us two colour changing rubber ducks and some bath disco lights that work underwater. (However they don't work underwater if they're not screwed together right)

Then Dan went and did our Asda shop and asked me if he could get me a little present, I said yes because I love presents and he came back with 3 plastic fish. I tryed to give him a look of 'I apericiate the gesture' without giving him the impression that I love that our bath is full of plastic kids toys and it is the perfect present. I have since informed him that if he has £2.50 to spend on a gift for me from asda he should go for a nail varnish.

Here ends the most borring blog I have ever written.

My Comedy Career Starts Here!

Last monday a did my first ever bit of stand up comedy, it was only for 5 minutes but the "fame" has gone to my head a bit. I did think the day after 'I could be a comedian...I already do my own self assesment tax returns and that's probably the hardest bit' I think I've realised now that when your only doing 5 minutes and the place is full of your friends and your a the only girl doing it, and it's your first time, your probably not going to get heckeled or anything. People would probably laugh anyway whatever you said.

I tryed to tweet my comedy at some comedians without much success. I've realised now that I should have asked them to retweet it instead of saying 'what do you think of this?' They're hardly going to come round and offer to be my personal comedy mentor (although they really should.) Dan said today that if I ever did get famous he'd worry that I'd go off and buy something crazy like a house made of cheese without asking him first. but what's crazy about that?! Here is my comedy clip, but you were probably there or have already seen it. Thanks for coming if you did, it was brilliant to have so many friends there.

http://youtu.be/FvTy0hasXQI

I started off talking about a dream I had where I'm a pond and a horse is drinking, me but that's a really sain dream compaired to the one I had last night. Last night a drempt that an angry guinen pig got inside my arm and stated sewing me up up on the inside. I had to keep pulling theads out of my skin and then it got even more angry and started to do the same but with metal chains, so I had to keep pulling chains out of my skin. It's probabley hard to imagain. Hopefully soon they will invent a iphone app that records your dreams and then you can upload the best ones to you tube. It would make blogging easier.

Keeping Warm

It's cold at the moment, I am not a fan. It should either be properly winter like snow and stuff or hurry up and be summer time. But fear not, I have some handy tips on keeping warm. I shall list them in order of sensibleness from 'weird but do-able' to 'nonsense'

1) I discovered yesterday that a snog with your husband/ partner/ fellow snogging enthusiast, is very nice if they have just downed a cut of hot tea .....mmmm, it's like a hot water bottle for you tongue. On the other had if they have just motor biked 30 miles in the ice stay away!

2) nose muffs -yet to catch on but a definite gap in the market.

3) I think I am building up an immunity to heat. I used to have 90% hot water baths with 10% cold water but now I go for 100% hot and I add more hot after 10 minutes. I also put boiling water in my hot water bottle even though you're apparently not meant to. I am now wanting to find a liquid that boils at around 120'c so I can be hotter for longer. I will buy a hot water bottle to the first scientist to get me some.

4) building a time machine and going back to 1985 when I was in the womb.