England Diaries

 I went to England last week on my own, mainly to meet my new nephew and help out my sister Sarah, but I also squeezed in seeing as many extra people as possible plus did a bit of sort of work.

Day 1 -Travel successes and failures.

I was flying from Carcassonne to Manchester, in the afternoon and I was nervous. Not of actual flying, of a train being cancelled, missing a bus, my bad being the wrong size, forgetting something important, all that stuff. My main worry was there was 4 minutes between my train arriving at Carcassonne station and the airport bus leaving. And French trains have been pretty unreliable lately. But after getting on the train an old couple got on and started speaking English. When I heard they were also heading to the airport I immediately made a plan to share a taxi with them if we all missed the bus, and after that I felt a lot better. We made the bus and it was all fine. I chatted to another old lady in the security queue and she lent me a clear bag for my liquids which was very nice. And then a third old couple that I sat next to on the plane told me all about their son who is an expert on micro moths.

After a quick google I’ve discovered he’s written a book “Micro-moth field tips: a guild to finding the early stages in Lancashire and Cheshire.”

Pretty niche, if you want to find average sized moths in Yorkshire, this is not for you.

Then I saw someone I actually knew on the plane! And realised that if they drove to the airport, they would have driven right past my house.

My Dad came to collect me from the airport, and I had tea with him and mum. And then we sat down to do the most old person activity of all. Watching TV in real time. 

I also made a big error in booking my train tickets for the following day I put in an email address which was a mixture of two of my email addresses and that’s where my tickets got sent to. After loads of messing around in the app I had to phone up and they sorted it before telling me to “have a safe journey” I wanted to reply “well tell your team to drive the train safely then.”

Day 2- Scousers.

Today was a bonus day, I actually changed my flights to add in this day for sort of work. I’m currently making a colouring book of the 66 region of France for a Guy called Guy. He’s paying me to do all the designs which I’m very grateful for. When I finish this one I’m going to start a new one of the only other place I know well- Liverpool.  And then he will market them both, they will have quite different marketing strategies and then he’ll see if either of them work and decided where to go from there. So I added an extra day to my trip so that I could get some current photos of all the sights, I walked all day I was knackered.

It was so nice to be in the city though, I did a bit of shopping too because Perpignan is not great for clothes shopping. When stoped for a break and was reminded of how Scouse scousers are.  I wanted to order a cup of tea and the lady said “what’s yours love” and I’ve heard that loads of times but being away from Liverpool really makes you realise how Liverpool is like its own little land. Her question sent me into a existential quandary , What is mine? I own a house but I still have a mortgage, I have two children but do I really own them? Obviously didn’t say all that, I just said “ a tea please” 

I saw two people I knew while walking around town, only one of which knew me back. I saw Mona, my old neighbour carrying a massage chair on the docs, we had a brief chat but she was on her way somewhere. And then I saw the comedian Paul Smith, who is a massive comedian, can sell out arenas and stuff, and I’m not completely just a weird fan, we’ve gigged together once and had a good chat in a green room but that was probably about 3 or 4 years ago, so unsurprisingly he didn’t remember me. I just couldn’t stop myself saying “hi” when we were walking towards each other and he looked at me. He was very nice and asked me lots of things about myself but I did feel weird and apologetic for talking to him.

Day 3 Jo and Gin.

Today I was back at my parent’s house and had a visit from my sister Jo and baby Miri. Who was the first of 3 new cousins our boys have gained this year. She’s in a super tough life stage right now she’s about to start back at work, but neither of her kids are sleeping properly. There was this time about 6 years ago when we were all on holiday together they had no kids and we were in the two kids no sleep stage and they just got up at 10am packed a bag in 5 minutes and got to the beach to enjoy some body boarding. After 5 hours of interrupted sleep  we took a hour to pack nappies, snacks, baby swim stuff, changes of clothes just to watch our kids eat sand. And I said at the time “one day our kids will pack their own bags and they’ll have babies” and it’s pretty much that time now. Woohoo! I hope they get through this soon though, so we can all enjoy the beach and just life again.

In the evening I took myself and the best fun alcohol Tesco had to offer back to Liverpool to see my old school run chums. These were people I met at a church hall playgroup in 2017 and liked so much that I sent my kid to the school they were all going to. It wasn’t my nearest school, I didn’t read any ofstead reports, I abandoned my ideals of sending my kids to a C of E school all because they were fun people to drink gin with (not at the playgroup, although in lockdown we did start drinking mulled wine in the woods while looking after our kids)

It was really lovely to catch up with everyone, and hear everyone’s news. That night I stayed in the caravan in the garden of the house we were hanging out at. It was a bad decision, I should have gone with the sofa.

Day 4- Meeting Murphy

The day began in a caravan at 3am when I needed a wee but didn’t want to have to clean out my own wee from wherever wee goes when you wee in a caravan. So I went out in the cold and unlocked my friend’s side door trying not to let the cats out and wake the kids while I went to the loo in their house. Then I got back in the cold caravan and had barely any sleep before morning.

But this was the day I was finally going to do what I mainly went to England for, to meet my new nephew Murphy he’s only been in the outside world for 2 months and already has incredible hair. 

I wanted to be a helpful guest and do whatever my sister needed, but I also have an unquenchable desire to see every I’ve ever known when I come to England, so the day started with a kind of compromise of me inviting my friends round that Sarah knows a bit too and cooking for everyone. Katie and Mike have been friends of ours for a long time and it makes me sad that we moved away shortly after they moved just round the corner from us. Katie is a midwife and was the last person to see Sarah before she gave birth. I cooked hallomi burgers because hallomi is hard to get in France and I’m a very selfish host. It was lovely to see them and their 3 year old Jimmy who is very chatty and funny. And came out with phrases like “time for a spot of lunch I think” although babies are of course adorable and it was a privilege to meet Murphy, babies don’t make me broodie in the way that toddlers do. I miss having 2 and 3 year olds. When they’re just learning words and they pronounce stuff wrong but it’s adorable and they go through that phase of asking people if they have willies as a genuine question, and they are over the moon to see a pigeon in a park. That’s a fun stage of life. 

Day 5. Pancakes and playtime

I was on early morning Murphy duty from 6am which meant giving him a bottle of expressed milk so Sarah could catch up on a bit of sleep. Sarah managed to do really well/ was lucky and was able to breastfeed fairly easily and also got him bottle feeding early so that she has that option too. I stupidly listened to much to all the militant breast feeders about not introducing a bottle to early because of the dangers of NIPPLE CONFUSION and how a bottle is like crack to a baby, and once they try crack they won’t want to go back to plain old weed. But they didn’t tell me if your baby has spent its whole life happily smoking weed (breastfeeding) it will not even have the desire to try crack. (bottles) 

After Murphy had finished his crack he decided to dress as a member of the backstreet boys and went to church with Sarah and Luke.

Then I took another opportunity to see more people I miss and headed off to Zac and Jude’s house for a lovely pancake breakfast, I ate a lot and then we tried to catch up while also trying to play top trumps with their kids. 

Strawberry, raspberry, blueberry and cream egg on a pancake? Yes please. 

We watched a bit of the London marathon because in January Zac and Dan will be doing a half marathon in Morocco. It’s always a lot of fun hanging out with the Macs and I can’t wait for them to visit us in August. They were meant to come two years ago but the plans were ruined by chicken pox.

The rest of the day was spent with Murphy just hanging out playing with him cuddling him and giving him a bath.

Day 6. Going back in time.

I suggested going to the old playgroup where I met my friends mentioned on day 3, I hadn’t realised that it had become so popular and over subscribed, I messaged my friend who runs it to check times and she had agreed with the other leader that they would let me in as I’m an old friend and I used to help out there. I didn’t  know there was an issue with capacity so I  didn’t tell her that I had invited another friend Ruth (because of my massive desire to see as many people as possible) so we got in, but then my friend who had changed her plans to come and meet me, was denied access by the playgroup bouncers. So that was sad, I got to briefly talk to her but I felt bad. 

Going to the playgroup was like going back in time, all the toys were the same, but almost all the mums I knew had moved on, their was only one mum that was there when I was there, but the childminders were still the same, and it was lovely to catch up with the leaders. It’s just a group run by my old local church so the leaders are volunteers it’s only a pound to go which covers snack, and stuff like paint.  These ladies have been working for years, decades even week in week out to make this amazing group that has supported generations of mums and the odd token dad, and they really need a medal or some kind of better appreciation than this blog post.

In the afternoon we wondered down Allerton high street with Murphy in the pram, looking at charity shops, I saw my old student house in the was for sale in the window of an estate agents. £400k for a student house with no garden! 

In the evening I got the train back to my parent’s house.

Day 7 - 10kg of random treats.

I had an afternoon flight back to Carcassonne, and I spent much of the morning deciding what to take, I came with only a tiny hand luggage bag and was going back with an extra 10k bag, so I could bring more things back, I had stocked up on tea bags cream eggs and Percy pigs (Percy has never tried them) I also bought they boys each a book Percy’s was about the environment because he’s really into saving the planet, before receiving the book he wanted to be an environmental scientist but now he has read about all the different job options he has decided he wants to be a re-wilding expert. It’s ironic that I tree had to be cut down to make that book. Eric cares a lot less about reading and the environment so I got him a book on how to draw ninjas.

Then I had to decide which random loft items could come back with me this time, it was between some high heeled shoes, a game of risk, a camping kettle, some rubber rings and a wetsuit. The rubber rings and camping kettle won. We’re hoping to try camping in July.

The rest of the morning I just hung out with my mum, we weighed up going on a cruise together from Barcelona next year verses just getting on a car ferry Barcelona to Rome and driving round the rest of the way back to Perpignan. 

Then she dropped me back at the airport and I made my long way home. Thanks for reading this long and possibly boring blog.

P.s at the end of my last blog I mentioned I love doors. It seems I’m not the only one, so at some point I will do some kind of global door art project but in the mean time feast your eye on this sexy pair from Liverpool…

What’s next?

One of my goals for the year 2024 was to live in the moment more. It was a goal because I felt like all the time that we were in France and Dan had a good job, I was enjoying a lot of life but I also was comparing my French life to my English life, and think, “well I would be doing this work project now or this comedy night now if I was still in England.” I kept thinking, “this thing would be easier in English, I would get to hang out with that person on their birthday etc.” And then when Dan lost his job things got really stressful and I regretted not just enjoying the great things about doing life here, when things were relatively unstressful. So I really wanted that as soon as Dan got a job that I just enjoyed life and lived in the moment and didn’t worry about little things.

And is there anything better in life than building a hole?

I really am trying to do that now, we’ve booked some French adventures to go on. In May we’re going to go west to the Atlantic coast to Biarritz and San Sebastián, and then in July we’re going to go to lake Geneva and several places on the way. We’re going to try camping which we haven’t done before unless you count campervanning. 

But it is a challenge to just enjoy the now and not think “what’s next?” We haven’t really made a conscious decision to stay in France, but we’ve come to the conclusion that it wouldn’t make sense to go back to England in the next couple of years and so by default I think we’ve chosen to stay. And I can’t see us being more likely to want to go back in a few years. Maybe I would, but I don’t think the boys would, they’re only going to get more and more integrated here. 

But if we are going to stay what’s the plan? We signed a 3 year rental contract and we’ve done almost two years already. We live in the tiniest village because this is the house that happened to be free when Dan came to look for houses.  But do we want to be in this village forever? Much as we love it (the school is great, there are some lovely views and they put on a great party every year) it’s not exactly the most happening place. I’d like to be able to walk to a boulongerie or get some public transport after 7pm for example. We’d love to buy a house here but where would we move to if we moved a little bit?

We could go to a slightly more populated village with a few more shops, if we went east we’d be nearer to the city centre and nearer to the sea. Or we could go west if we wanted to be more in the mountains nearer to the ski slopes and generally cheaper prices.

We know people in every direction so whenever we consider somewhere it’s sad to think who you will be further away from. Ideally we don’t want the kids to have to move schools again but Percy only has a year and a bit left of primary school, so if we were going to make a bit of a move next summer would be a good time. It will still be a big deal and it would be sad if Eric had to move, but I guess it would be sadder to live in this tiny village for the rest of our lives just because we couldn’t be bothered to make a change.

Village life on 14th July

It’s hard to make a decision for the future too, like trying to think of where the boys would be happy to live as teenagers. I loved living in a village as a kid, I was free to explore the fields and woods and make my own adventures, but then when I was a teenager who kept failing driving tests I hated living there. The most out there option would be to move to Toulouse. This was a much more likely option when it seemed that Dan was going to have to commute there two days a week at his own expense, but now that he doesn’t have to do that, we don’t have to, but……would it be cool? Dan would like to be in the office more he said it’s hard to follow French conversations online sometimes. And I would like to move to a bigger place. It’s also better connected to other cities and would be easier to fly to England from. But it is very far from the sea, and I don’t know if I can be bothered to start completely from scratch again in a city where I don’t know anyone.

Toulouse 2022

It’s like I’ve been dating Perpignan for 2 years and it’s not perfect but I’ve got a special little place in my heart for it and I just don’t want the hassle of getting with a new city. Yeah a new city is a good laugh at first and there’s new exciting places to discover, but then you realise you’re going to all the same places, and some stuff about it irritates you and then you think back to leaving Perpignan, all because of it’s size, and it’s a bit smelly in places, but does size really matter that much? It was good to you, it was there for you it picked up the pieces after a 16 year relationship with Liverpool. You start scrolling back to photos on your phone of you in Perpignan, were you happy then? Will you ever be truly happy? Or should you stop thinking that geographical locations will truly fulfil you. 

Wow that started as a joke comment and got deep really quick.

Other things to consider are: what I should do for work? My options are very limited here due to my lack of French. When Dan lost his job I threw myself into anything that might earn me money without really thinking much about what I wanted to do. So I now have a series of little English teaching gigs and some work designing a colouring book. I enjoy elements of the teaching, I like most of the people I teach and I like it when I can make teaching fun and creative. I didn’t like it when someone asked me what a past participle was. But I’ve googled it and good news I think we can live without them.

Instead of singing along with Natalie Imbruglia “you’re a little late I’m already TORN” you’d say “you’re a little late I’m already TORE” it’s only one letter different.

The Disney film/musical would be called “Froze.”

The Liam Neeson film would be called “Took”.

I know it all sounds a bit weird but I think we could get used to it. Maybe I’ll do a past participle detox for a month and see if I think I could live long term without them. It’s definitely easier than trying to learn them.

I’m really enjoying the colouring book digital drawing. It felt very much like I was cheating on real art for a bit but I’ve got used to it now.

A page from my colouring book

So my options to explore, work-wise, are more teaching opportunities, I am trying to get a new group of adults who want to learn through fun at the moment but so far there’s been no interest. I could try and get more schools work or online work. Or I could try doing more stuff with my paintings or with digital drawing, like do some designs for t-shirts and start an Etsy shop. But I really don’t want to be the stereotypical wife that does a bit of craft on the side and earns some kind of lame lady pocket money.  

I’ve got an idea for an art project about doors. This is not really something I’d try and make money out of it’s just something I’m into at the moment, there’s some really nice doors in our region they’re aDOORable. And I’m thinking about trying to get photos of doors from all over the world and put make them into linoprints. Have you seen any good doors recently? Can you send me a pic? Especially if you live in a country that isn’t France or England. I’d love to have a good collection of photos of doors of the world that are really different from each other, to make some kind of art from.

My favourite door so far.
I’m going to England tomorrow, mainly to meet my new nephew. Night.