Top 10 Pregnancy Comments

Today I am 35 weeks which you think would mean we had a 'special hug' 35 weeks ago actually it doesn't, because of the silly way they count it, it's more like 33 weeks since that happened. Anyway that's enough about our special hug life. Check out the bump.

I'm going to dedicate this blog to all the people who have commented on my pregnancy: friends and strangers but especially the funny commenters which are mainly the kids from the school I work in.
I find it funny when strangers feel the need to comment, fair enough if they ask when is it due or whatever that's just being friendly. But there was a man is Aldi who said 'you're big' (ironically he was about 20 stone) and there was a lady on the till in Asda who insisted I shouldn't be carrying my shopping which was only something like a loaf of bread and some jam. What do you actually expect me to do? Are you offering to carry my shopping home for me? If not don't comment. (I didn't say that though)

Most adult comments are normally variations on either...'oh look at your bump' 'when are you due?' 'do you know what it is?' or 'I think you're having a boy/ girl because xyz'

People have been very lovely and helpful and it really is nice that people are taking an interest and stuff so I don't want this to come across as negative, but because I get asked the same questions a lot I am tempted to give stupid answers. Like 'how long have you got left?'.... 'oh hopefully another 50 years at least...probably longer than you.' Or my favourite variation on 'Do you know what it is?' was 'What sex are you having?' Soooo hard not to say a position, but I just managed to politely say 'we're having a surprise'

Kids comments have been much less predictable here's the top 10 hilarious kid comments:

10) Why are you having a baby? (I wasn't sure whether to answer that from a biological or psychological perspective)

9) Are there 2 babies in there or 3?

8) The baby might not know you're an artist. (I'm not sure why this was such a concern)

7)  If it's a boy you should call it Steven Gerrard.

6) Do you actually want a baby? Do you know that babies grow into kids?

5) You don't have a TV?!! You'll have to get one before the baby arrives or your  baby will be soooo bored!

4) If it's a girl throw it in the bin!

3) Do you know you need a man to make a baby?
yes, I am married
Well we've never seen your husband!

2)When you have a baby either you have to show all your rude bits or have it cut out of you. Which one are you going to do?

1) What's that in there? (pointing to my belly)
a baby
oh I thought it was a ball
Have you never seen a woman with a baby in her belly before?
My Dad has a big belly.

The Middle Sister

A week today my sister Jo is getting married. This means I must share a childhood picture of us:

Aww.... from the days where I was the tallest sibling (and I had a horrible fringe, If my baby is a girl I will actively discourage her from fringes.)

One of the best things about Jo is that on first impressions she comes across as very normal, very mature and responsible maybe even a little bit dull...but she's actually crazy! She has done a lot of crazy things like skydiving and zorbing, she is an accomplished unicycler, tightrope walker, gymnast and trampolinist. We wrote a little book for Jo at her hen night that we all signed with nice memories and stuff... for some reason the main thing I could remember  was this time we were really bored on a family walk and decided to repeatedly touch an electric fence. Good times. Mum and Dad were despairing a little, but we wouldn't even have that family walk memory right now if it wasn't for touching the fence.

Since we've always had a bit of an interest in circus, this became the theme for the hen night.

Back in the day...

The hen night....

I'm pretty proud of my costume... I didn't want to be a pregnant clown so when Dan suggested big top (after elephant) I thought that would work well. My costume was mainly made from a laundry basket and a lamp shade. I felt a great sense of freedom wearing a costume that no one would recognise me in. for example I would never creep out an innocent man working on his laptop in my home town in normal dress...

Nor would I dance with Jo in front of a bit of and audience.

Happy hen night Jo, can't wait to be the fattest bridesmaid at your wedding!

Hopefully you'll look a bit better than you did at the end of your hen do. x

Babies

Everyone loves babies especially in digital form when you can just admire their cuteness without them disturbing your sleep. Here's our properly adorable nephew Reuben with his Daddy (the husband of Dan's sister)

All babies are cute but some are cuter than others and he deffo comes into the 'cuter' category.

At church on sunday I was asked quite publicly "How was your shower? I saw the photos" I quickly added " my BABY shower? yeah it was great" You can never be too careful in church, that's how rumours start.

So I had my baby shower this week which was brilliant. Everyone put so much effort into making it a lovely day, I felt very spoilt. Our baby is super spoilt he or she now owns 7 hats! Lets hope they're a hat person.

We played lots of games at the baby shower including Cat's game 'stick the Jewish hat on the the baby' (a reference to a bit of my stand up) and Katie's game try and guess what Han and Dan's baby will look like.....

It's a pretty disturbing game.

A lot of people are very keen to guess the name, at the baby shower I gave out very cryptic name clues:

So if you want to join in the guessing game, we have chosen 4 names: a boys first name and middle name and a girls first name and middle name. So 4 of these clues relate to these 4 chosen names but there are also 2 red herrings. I'm not going to say if you're right though so it really is a pointless game.

This weekend ie the rest of the day is my sister's Hen party. I can't reveal much now or I might ruin the surprises but lets just say my costume is pretty immense, and took me 2 days to make. Photos to follow.

P.s this is my last bit of stand up before motherhood which I performed on Wednesday.