Election Time

I think it's going to be election time soon, I know because when I cycle to work There's a picture of David Camerons face on a billboard. He must think that putting a giant picture on my way to work will subliminally make me vote for him. It's not that subliminal though, it's pretty bliminal. It doesn't make me want to vote for hime it just makes me think 'Well done David Cameron your face is more attractive than Gordan brown's,' but that's not really an achivement is it.

I'm not a major fan of politics just because I don't think they make it fun and accessable for every one. I mean they have signs everywhere on election day saying 'polling station' and that does sound like a fun adventure place you'd go on a stag night to do a dangerous sport. But in reality voting isn't fun or dangerous, at least not in this country. My Dad took this photo on election day in palestine (2006) though and people seem to be getting more into the spirit of it there:

I also think 16 year olds should be allowed to vote because if your old enough to have sex you should really be allowed to vote. Maybe if you were allowed to vote at 16 soaps would have story lines like this:

Teanage Girl: Mum, I've got some thing to tell you, I made a terrible mistake today, I'm sorry, I was just drunk and not thinking straight....

Mum: what did you do? you're not pregnate are you?

Teanage Girl: No nothing like that, I went into a polling station and voted for the Tory's.

Mum: What!! That's even worse! how could you be so thoughtless? If they get in you'll have to live with the consequences for the rest of your life!!

Teanage Girl: I'm so sorry, it was just the pressure of being old enough to vote, and seeing david camerons face on that billboard, all my freinds were voting for him, I just did it to fit in.

I also think 16 year old should be allowed to buy sparklers as long as they don't light them whilst have sex because that could be dangerous.

I don't Know who I will vote for though, I'm kind of board with labour coz they've been around since I was 11 and I don't remember much politaically before that, and although a lot of people hate the conservertives I don't feel like they've personally wronged me. I think when I was in reception class we might have stoped getting free milk, but don't think I liked cold milk then anyway, so I'm prepaired to forgive them on that one. I think voting for the conservitives might be like having my hair cut short though, I enjoy the novelty of it for a bit but then I'll want it back the way it was.

I think I will conclude my very interlectual political blog post with a list of other more exciting way's to have a election inspired by Phil who suggested Brown and Cameron had a Gym bench fight after reading my previous blog.

1) The top 10 candiates for primeminister go into a big brother style house and one is voted out each week. They are set tasks each week like solve unemployment with only £5000 and a box of toilet roles or rescue the NHS with £3000 a tin of tomatoes and a gun. The winner gets to be priminister.

2) A Thumb War Between Gordan Brown and David Cameron.

3) Gordan Brown and David cameron have to my job, teaching Art to really naughty teenagers that have been expelled, in a falling down building with only a box of broken pencils. Whoever can't take it any longer looses and the other one get to be priminister.

4) The first one who can succesfully get past security and break into number 10 wins, in a 'finders keeper loosers weepers' kind of way.

Dear Tony Blair...

Hey Tony,

I know you've been waiting for my answer to the middle east crisis because it's really your job to sort that whole mess out now, and I know you read my blog. I've been working on this issue in my head for 13 years now ever since I first went to Israel and Palestine in 1997 when I was 11. I remember when I came back I wanted to live there, and I remember thinking a lot about the issues. I once did a gym routine, where I was Benjamin Netenyahou and I made my best friend at the time Frankie be Yassa Arafat and essencially we just had a big fight on those gym benches that are the main componant of primary school gyms. Yassa won, because in my 11 year old logic he was the goodie. political gym routines are where it's at, I'd like to see a lot more of them in the 2012 olympics.

Anyway back to 1997...my solution to the middle east crisis then, was simular to the solution for who had the biggist slice of pizzza in my house. One cuts the other chooses, I even didn't mind the israelis cutting who were not really my favorites of the two sides. I know your not ment to have favorites but our family holiday was a little bit biased, we stayed opposit a palestinian refugee camp and most of the israelis we saw had guns and looked scary. -I loved my non-packaged childhoood family holidays!

Things have come a long way since then and I have made 3 more trips there on my own totalling 4 months living there. Plus I've read a few things and done art based on it, and I even know someone who's babysitter is the neice of Yassa (that's one of my favorite claims to fame, if you don't know who yassa is he's the one that's famous for the 'tea-towl-on-your-head' look, although he's dead now) so with all this political information in my brain I'm now at least as qulified as Tony to do the middle east job, plus I recently watched a Ross Kemp documentary. In that documentary he basically said there are good people who want peace on both sides but there are also a minority on both sides that want to keep fighting...so that's basically 3 groups, and what I realised is there's also 3 bits of land: Israel, the west bank and Gaza.

so the obvious solution is:
Israel is kept just for nice Israelis the kind that just want to eat bagels.
The West Bank is kept for the nice Palestinians the kind that just want to eat falafil
and Gaza can be for the baddies the kind of people who don't care about bagels or falafil the kind that just want to kill each other. After a while all the badies will have killed eachother and the world will be a happy place.

So Tony there's something for you to be getting on with, let me know when it's sorted.
xx