My first week of freedom

If you read my last blog you'll know I was VERY excited that I had finally got to the point where both kids got some form of free education, and so I had my first full day off in a very long time. I've wanted to explore the loop line, which is a cycle path by ours, since we moved here over 3 years ago. I go on it all the time but I've never been all the way up it as far as you can go. So I decided this would be a good thing to do with my first day off.

I was feeling giddy with excitement as I set off without any kids in tow.

This bit in West Derby is as far as I usually go.

Norris Green.

The loop line, or "the rala" as scousers call it, claims on signs that it goes to Southport but in reality you can only cycle as far as Aintree. I knew that in theory before I set off, but I came to know it in practice too. I thought seeing as I was going to Aintree I'd go to the retail park there. They have a Hobbycraft and I needed a tube of white paint. There are some lovely bits of the loop line but also some horrible bits, like two really long unlit tunnels that it would be super easy to be attacked in, and some bits with a lot of tiny flies and a bit of a swamp. I also passed about 70 school children on a walk.

I could see on my phone that I was getting near Aintree, but there should be a sign saying "end of the line, if you continue you'll just be stuck in a wood." I carried on thinking it would get better again, when all the time it was getting worse, to the point where I had to get off and walk my bike and I couldn't have turned it around because the path was too narrow. I went past Aintree racecourse

and the track got like this.

I could see the blue blob that was me on my map was nearly at a main road so I just kept trekking on through the mud. Until eventually I came out by a canal.

Then I cycled along the tow path to the retail park and treated myself to a drink in the M&S cafe because I'm pretty much retired now.

Luckily I took some trousers to wear over these muddy legs.

On the way back I managed to get on at a different point so that I didn't have to go through the mud again. Half way home a man cycling towards me said "watch out there's a knobhead" but then he quickly cycled off without telling me what kind of knobhead to expect. I was just coming up to the big creepy tunnel too, so I really needed to know if it was the kind of knobhead that would just shout a comment to you, or like the kind of knobhead that might stab you. I was more than happy to take an alternative route to avoid a stabby knobhead in a creepy tunnel, but since I didn't know I thought I'd give the knobhead the benefit of the doubt and carry on. He was sitting by the entrance to the tunnel and I properly stared at him to try and discern what kind of knobhead he was, but he didn't do anything.  

I had a bit of time to relax before I went to collect the boys. Percy was very excited and ran out of school saying "It was great! I didn't learn anything!" I was a little apprehensive because I've heard Year 1 is a lot harder work than Reception and they don't let them play much anymore, so I was half glad he didn't learn anything. On his time table he has 1 hour 45 of English and Phonics a day, but only one hour a week dedicated to art, music, PSHE and RE. I know I'm biased but that sucks. Over lock down he's learnt embroidery, and music production and break dancing as well as phonics and maths. So I was really excited when he came out of school on Friday saying he did "land art" and then it turned out that's just something he did at lunch time. He arranged a load of yellow leaves to look like a sunflower.

Eric has mainly enjoyed his nursery too, he was very excited to go. I spent my other 2 days off doing accounts and admin and then working on a mural in someone garden that I started in the summer. Next week I have a meeting about doing some artwork in Percy's school. I really hope it happens before things all get shut down again. 

The Monday rule change seems a bit random. We can now see other couples because we're only a family of four, but once my sister has her baby I won't technically be able to she her if her husband is there. And I can't go on a play date with another parent with two kids if either of us have partners working from home. Luckily everyone's bringing their family parties forward to this weekend because Covid can't strike till Monday.

Lockdown One was a fun novelty, a change in routine, a chance to bake bread from scratch and get on with some DIY, but really we don't need another lockdown for at least a decade now. Ughh. At least I had my one and probably only day off.

First day of freedom

Tomorrow I will have my first child free day in a long time. It's not just a one off day, it's 3 child free days a week for hopefully ever. I love my kids and everything, but imagine the things I will be able to do! I'll be able to poo ON MY OWN. I'll be able to think. I'll be able to sit on a sofa without someone sitting on top of me. I can make a lunch without having to make 2 extra lunches, I can listen to the news on the radio without having to translate it into the language a 5 year old understands and answer questions on it. I will be able to hear the glorious sound of silence!

Percy starting Year 1 today (Eric starts nursery tomorrow)

He came home from school saying "It was a great day! We didn't learn anything!"

I remember way back in the dawn of time, (2015) thinking this baby will never sleep through the night, and that I will never get freedom until he's in school and by then I'll probably have another one, but finally I have reached the sacred time of free nursery hours!

It's not like I've completely not worked since having kids. I went back 2 days a week after having Percy and that was ok for a while, and then I managed to find some other projects after Eric (I do art projects in schools). I had a good few months of work which meant I was able to pay for nursery, but then those projects came to an end and nothing else came along, so unfortunately I had to take him out of the nursery that he'd just settled into. From them on I just did comedy and airbnb for money, because that fits around looking after a toddler in the day.

It feels like a whole new world of limitless opportunities are opening up to me. (Within the hours of 9am-3pm 3 days a week in Liverpool, so still pretty limiting really.) But going from no free time to this much free time is pretty good. I'm going to split my free time into 3 categories: fun, stuff for money and house stuff.

Fun

I think this time is the time where everything gets levelled out. If you compare the effort me and Dan have put into parenting so far we've both worked hard. I've done more hours because he's earned more money, but if you count up all the extra night time hours I put in because I was breastfeeding, I think thats an average of 1.5 hours per night. 

If you include the time it takes to get back to sleep again I think 1.5 hours is a conservative estimate and thats for for 1.5 years per child. So 3 years x 1.50 hours is 1642 hours. Theres about 5 hours in a school day which means I can have 328 days off before I should start feeling bad that I'm having too much fun. So lets say I have one school day of "me time" a week there are approx 190 days in a school year, so one day a week term time is only 38 days per year. So thats 8.6 years till I've made up for breastfeeding in the night time. Which is pretty much until they're both in secondary school.

So how should I fill my 1642 hours of fun? Please let me know some things I can do! I thought about having a whole day of napping, it would be quite a challenge. I might have to then do some intense exercise when the kids are home so that I can still sleep in the evening. I would really like to cycle up the Loop Line (a cycle track right by my house) as far north as I can go. The loop line claims it goes to Southport but actually only goes to Aintree. I'd love to wild swim somewhere, but not sure where is near. I would love to spend a whole day painting. Really a whole day doing anything would be nice. I feel like I so rarely have time away from the kids that when I do I have this mad list in my head of things I should be doing. It's easier without them and it's hard to relax because it's the only time I have to do anything. 

Suff for money

I've written a list of 14 self-employed things I can try to do to make money, I'm hoping some of them will pay off. There's a project that was all agreed for June that should be going ahead this term, and I finally managed to blag a meeting with the school Percy goes to, because the head teacher phoned me about something else and while she was on the phone I managed to get her to agree to meet me. I've got a little mural to finish in someone's garden and hopefully I can get more mural work. And then there's all the comedy stuff I could start doing again. And if all this stuff doesn't work, then I could look for a real job.

Hoping to make a bigger version of this in schools sometime soon.

House Stuff

Since buying our house 3 and a half years ago I've been gradually ridding it of all the magnolia. I like almost every colour in the world except magnolia, it's just such a nothing colour that can't even be bothered to be white. Our whole house was textured wallpaper painted magnolia, with a beige carpet. But I love our house. It's a good size, a nice size garden and it's 15 mins walk to Woolton village which is super posh. But, because it's also 5 minutes walk to belle vale shopping centre, which is a bit of a dive, it made the house affordable (£132,000).

One good thing about the house is that under that horrible wallpaper is decent plaster, so if you can be bothered with the time consuming job of removing it you can make it nice without spending much money. I already decorated all the bedrooms, the bathrooms and the lounge. But now I'm trying to do the dining room. It's going to be duck egg and coral (Dan has no idea what colour either of those colours are). I'm going to try and do wood paneling on the bottom section too. Here's what I've done so far...

The space bedroom

The tropical lounge

The air bnb room

Our room

Right I need to jump in to that bed now, I can't stay up late tonight I need lots of energy for my big day off. Night. x

Jonesfest

Last year we got new decking made in our garden and I managed to acquire a sound system for my comedy night, and when you put them together with a big mosaic I've made, it sort of makes the perfect little stage for hosting a tiny festival in your garden. 

Hosting a festival in you garden is one of those things that I wish was normal. When I've told people about it sometimes they've asked "why?" and I really want to respond "why not? Why aren't you? Why isn't everyone?" Like imagine how good it would be if everyone you know put on a festival every year or 2. Imagine that it was just the standard thing you did, and occasionally you could opt out if you wanted to, but people would stop you to ask why. 

I think the same about slides in houses. I wish it was standard when fitting a staircase for it to be half stairs (for going up) and then half slide. And if you really wanted only stairs without a slide you had to make a point of it and fill in a form and pay a bit extra. That's the kind of world I want to live in.

Dan claims he did not consent to this festival (I didn't - Dan) and as an introvert found it a bit more of a challenge. There definitely were some conversations about it though and if he was on facebook he would have seen an invite and the itinerary! (Without me you'd never have spelt itinerary correctly - Dan).

It was originally planned for June, but obviously that didn't happen and then it was really hard to work out whether we should still do it, as the advice is constantly changing and people's views on meet ups change a lot too. In the end we did a massively cut down version of what I originally planned. I had planned a night of music with face painting and hair braiding for the kids, a night of comedy, a live podcast recording, a Jenga tournament, a clothes swap, weaving and knitting workshops, a ukulele strum along and a few other things. All of those thing didn't happen but we did do 5 fun things.

Day one: a bike ride picnic, where I taught the kids rally 123 (you might call it 40 40 home or something else). It's like a cross between hide and seek and Tig (which you might call "tag" or "it"). Anyway the point of this story is that I got outrun by a 7 year old. Sad times. My friend Steve poured salt on the wound by asking me if I let him win, no I didn't he genuinely was faster than me!

Day one was also kids baking, we made cheesecake and gingerbread.

In the evening of day one my lovely friend from uni days Josh came to stay, and on day 2 he put on 2 circus skills workshops on day 2. 

Me and Josh in our student days just hanging out on stilts.

It was a lot of fun. I learnt that there's some circus things I can only do with an angry face and Dan discovered a secret talent for hula hooping.

 

Day 3 was breeze block sculpture, which is one of my favourite things you can do with a single breeze block. If you're looking to sculpt something and your budget is £1.20 I would highly recommend a thermolite breeze block. The true cost though is £1.20, a trip to L13 and a bit of embarrassment. It's slightly embarrassing just being a woman in a builders merchants, you always just feel so aware that you don't look like a builder the whole time. I once got asked out by someone there which further adds the feeling you have that women never enter these places. If I worked in marketing at B&Q I would propose this as their USP:

"Want to not feel completely self conscious while looking round DIY stuff? Don't mind paying double for the privilege? Come to B&Q where we have women, and the ability to browse without having to state exactly what you want in imperial measurements."

So I went to the builders merchants to buy 5 breeze blocks. It was a rainy day but I specifically wanted dry breeze blocks, you can't sculpt wet ones. I made the builder man get some out that were 5 layers down, just to add the the awkwardness of being a woman, bringing my kids and only wanting 5 blocks. Anyway it was all worth it. None of these are finished yet but I think they all had fun.

The finale of Jonesfest was Drama games led by the brilliant Steph. There were 3 families as well as us, all with kids ages 1-8 and considering some people didn't even want to say their names at first, she did an excellent job of gently bringing us out of our shells. At the end one of the kids was begging her to do more. 

I particularly enjoyed an improvised quick-fire game where someone says "what are you doing?" and you had to come up with an action such as "reading a book" or "mowing the lawn." Percy came up with "killing a cow". I asked him later about it and apparently it was the first thing that came into his head. This led me and Dan to come up with the actions "taking my son to counselling" and "resuscitating a cow".

It was a super fun weekend and I can't wait to start planning Jonesfest 2021! you're invited.

This week feels like the last week of this bizarre season of a pandemic and having the kids 24/7. Today was Eric's nursery trial, he'll be doing 3 days a week and Percy will be starting year 1 on Monday.  I'm going to have some child free time at last!! I'm pretty excited about all the things I could do, but that's a whole other blog post which I'll write soon. Well done for surviving life this far everyone. xx