Inside the Royal Mail

Hey. I got some lovely feedback about my last blog, which included some stuff about my new job as a Christmas temp at the Royal Mail, so I thought I'd share some more things I've discovered from inside of the Royal Mail, as if I was an undercover journalist.

I've done a few different jobs there now. I most often do tracked local parcels, but I have done letters which is easy- just sorting between first and second class, and the worst job which is the conveyor belt: someone empties out a bag of completely unsorted mail onto a conveyor belt and you have to sort it before it falls off the end into the letters trolley. It would be easy enough if it was just first and second class parcels but its not just that, it's also air mail, franked mail, A4 letters, first class tracked, second class tracked, first and second class bigger than a shoe box, and tracked bigger than a shoe box. It's so hard work and the guy putting stuff on is just going at the speed he can empty bags at, which is a pretty easy job. Here's some things I've discovered since starting this job:

1) They have a train that has a Christmas bow. I talked to the guy who drives it, he says after a couple of hours its an incredibly boring job because you don't get to talk to anyone. Yesterday as I was leaving the train (which apparently I shouldn't call a train because it's not) was going the same way as me and I really wanted to jump on.

2) The funniest things I or a colleague have seen in the post so far are: a curry, a house ridding saddle, a hula hoop, a stool sample, a box of chickens feet, a vibrating box, a real Christmas tree in a pot and fresh flowers that said return to sender. I really want to know what that guy did to deserve that!

3) Someone lost a diamond from their ring on my first day. Imagine doing 5 weeks of being a Christmas temp and all the money you earned only paid for the diamond you lost on day 1. Typical 2020 luck.

4) If you try and sit down and rest in an empty york you are heavier than a parcel and your bum will fall in and your legs will stick out and your colleague will wheel you round laughing.

5) Some people are more likely than others to have post go missing. The way they sort the local mail is into different yorks (which are like big trollies) WA8 - Widnes for example has its own York, most postcodes do, but if you live in WA3 which is somewhere in Warrington you are the most likely not to get your post. Thats because WA3 (1-3) has a joint york with WA12 and WA3 (4-9) has it's own york and the Christmas casuals are not all told about this so most will sort some WA3s in the wrong place at some point.

6) The gap in the postcode matters. When sorting mail you don't normally look at the whole address, just the first part of the postcode, so if someone with a WA1 postcode doesn't leave a gap it might go into the WA12 york by accident.

7) I mentioned this on the first blog, but fragile post is treated no differently. If you wouldn't be comfortable dropping your post from a height of 2 meters don't post it. At some stages it has to be thrown and if it's thrown into an empty york it will fall 2 meters. Putting "this way up" is completely pointless.

8) Yorks are made to be exactly the right hight for an average man. Most men (and tall women) can easily push them around and see where they are going. Most women however have to pull them backwards while looking over their shoulder or push them sidewise, which takes twice as long and probably makes men think that women are just stupid. I've had a few men tell me I'm not pushing it right, I made one bend down to my eye line and try and push it themselves.

9) If you put random stamps on your mail it will probably go first class. When I post a parcel I go to the post office and they tell me how much to pay and print the sticker. When my parents used to post things when I was a kid they'd weigh their post and had a poster that told them how much the postage was and then they'd work out what stamps they needed. The truth is the people sorting don't weigh it and they don't know if you intended first or second class so they'll always give you the benefit of the doubt. Someone told me yesterday if it's got more than 1 stamp send it first class. Disclaimer - there may be another bit of sorting where someone works it out and charges you if you're wrong I don't know, all I know is in the initial sort it will go first class.

10) All mail to Santa goes first class even if it doesn't have a stamp. The official address is Santa's Grotto, Reindeerland, XM4 5HQ. But this is actually code for some place in Edinburgh. Sorry to ruin the dream. I worked on letters last week and I found one letter not in an envelope that said "dear Santa, I want snow and barbies"

11) So far I've not seen any post for me, but I have seen 2 for my street, and 2 for Hannah Joneses that aren't me. Even if I did see some for me and had ID on me to prove it I'm still not allowed to take it home.

12) Warrington Mail Centre plays 90s radio the whole time, and the great thing about having to wear a mask is that you can secretly sing along

13) On the last day, Christmas eve, all the Christmas temps get to come in fancy dress and we make all the yorks into a massive maze. At the centre of the maze is a massive pile of parcels. When you reach the centre you get to pick a parcel that you like the look of and open it, like a big secret Santa. I wish.

One thing I would like to know is: what happens to the post that is for the mail centre itself? Does that leave the mail centre in a van and go to the sorting office only to be brought back by a postman? That would be madness.

If you're waiting for some post all I can say is I wish you luck.