10 years ago

It's ten years since I moved to Liverpool as a student to study "Fine Art". 10 years! It was my second choice uni option, I really wanted to go to Manchester, but I sort of messed up that interview...they asked what option I would like to do; painting, sculpture or printmaking... I kind of wanted to do all of them but in the interview I said "probably painting" which was the wrong answer seeing as you actually had to decide before you started and only stick to one discipline and really know everything you were going to do before you start. The fact that I said "probably" kind of implied that I didn't know that or really anything about the course.

Then I went to my Liverpool interview and they were a lot friendlier and seemed to be genuinely interested in some artwork in my portfolio that I had done about Israel and Palestine. (I spent a few months of 2005 there.) Then he asked "who would you naturally side with" and I thought "this is make or break whether I get into the course" if he sides with the same as me I'll get on it if not I won't. So I very hesitantly said ...."the palestinians"*, and he seemed happy and I got on the course. If he'd have been a strong Israeli supporter my life might have turned out completely differently.
*Just so you know I don't hate Israelis or support suicide bombings, I just really like Palestinians.

I have been reminiscing about how I've changed in these 10 years. Here are some of the ways:

Stinginess
I was properly stingy in 2005, I'm not really sure why. I mean I was poor but I could have chilled out a bit. I think I have a much better balance now. I'm still quite thrifty but also I can relax a bit. Some thing are worth spending extra money on, like Ben and Jerry's and buying 1 decent bike instead of 5 rubbish ones, and hoovers that don't have flames inside them when you turn them on (I know you shouldn't expect much from a Tesco value hoover but "no flames" is kind of one of my essentials on my hoover tick list).

Craziness
People who've only met me in the last couple of years probably think I'm pretty crazy, but really I'm very responsible now. Not compared to the average parent but compared to 2005 me. I'm not sure you can get away with riding in a shopping trolley from Asda to Greenbank park to do some fire spinning at 4am as a mum.

Welcoming in 2007 just before the police came for a chat with us.

Technology
I sort of half hate technology. I think the internet is, at best, as good as it is bad. I don't have a T.V. or a smart phone. But in 2005 I didn't have anything, everyone else in my halls house of 5 people had a T.V and laptop, I didn't have either, I didn't even have a desktop computer, I had only just a month or 2 earlier got an email address. I had a green and black screen nokia phone, and digital camera but I didn't know how to get the photos off it, not that I had anything to put them on. I didn't have any digital music or a usb pen. This is why I have virtually no photos to share from this era. So this is the nearest thing I have: a piece of art from first year. I could write some rubbish about what it means and say words like "identity" and "consumerism" but I basically just cut up Boots magazine, it's what they let kids do in nursery but done better.

Confidence
On my first day at uni we all had to talk about our work in front of about 60 people and for some reason I had to go first and I hated it. I said one tiny sentence and then answered with just yes or no to every question. In general I wasn't really sure on my opinion on things, I was quite easily swayed by people and never confronted anyone about anything. Whereas now if I don't agree with something I'll tell you.

Family
I'm going to put an actual serious point here which I virtually never do on my blog. In 2005 I could not wait to leave home! I was well ready in 2004 when everyone else in my year left home, but the problem was I wanted to do art, and for that you normally need an art foundation course which is a free course but you can't get a student loan to cover living costs. So, I had the dilemma of doing art but staying another year living in a boring village near Coventry while all my friends went away and had exciting lives, or doing a course I didn't massively want to do just so I could leave. So I stayed in my boring village where I kept failing driving tests and therefore never had any independence.

But anyway I digress, the point is I couldn't wait to leave and have fun in a big city where buses were more frequent than every 2 hours and crime was more serious than someone stealing someone else's wellies from their shed (yep that actually happened I read it in the neighbourhood watch magazine).
My mum cried when she dropped me off, but I was so ready to live in a new place and never go back. Which is sort of what I did, for at least 3 years I went back the minimum amount and even stayed in Liverpool in the summers. I did that slightly annoying early 20's "I'm so grown up that I don't need you anymore thing". Sorry family. But now that I am the grand old age of 29 and I actually have grown up, I realise that I do have a good family and I enjoy their company and I even enjoy going back to my old village. I had this revelation after living in a quite high crime area for ages that actually- LOW CRIME RATES ARE A GOOD THING! Who would have thought it?!

Next blog I want to write about the very special people I met in my first weeks in Liverpool.