The Urban Cheese Awards

A work of fiction by Hannah Marshall. Dedicated to Grace Snow my number one blog fan and blog evangelist.

Everyone gathered around the fire in their hoodies chanting aggressively, two stocky men were starring each other out across the fire. One had a beard and a tattoo of his favorite cheese (edam) on his arm. This was extreme street fondue at it's most exhilarating! The eight mystery cheeses were grated into the giant fondue by an independent adjudicator. Who would be the ultimate extreme street fondue champion 2011?

Both contestants etched their initials into the side of a babybel which was tossed by the ref to decide who goes first. 'BB' Barry Bennet. 'Wooo' his supporters cheered as he steped up to the giant fondue pot that was sizzling over the fire. He got his infamous lucky spoon dipped it in and then dolloped a load in to his mouth. It tricked into his beard but Barry was concentrating to hard on the flavour to notice. 'Emmental' he shouted, there was compleat silence all eyes were on the ref, 'correct' he announced and the crowd roared. Ralph went next, 'wensleydale' 'correct' the crowd leaned in closer for Barry's turn, it continued 'Saint Agur' 'Roquefort' 'Ricotta' 'Double Gloucester'...it continued until there were only two cheeses left unidentified. Ralph took the spoon 'Brie?' he said hesitantly, 'incorrect' the ref said. 'Ooooh' growled the crowed.

The Ball was in Barry's court now four years of training could finally be paid off. Would he be crowned extreme street fondue champion? He had one guess left and there were two possible cheeses, Barry took another spoon fun and smelt it before shoveling it into his mouth. A silence fell upon the crowd, Barry licked his lips and braced himself for the moment he had been dreaming of for so long. 'Camembert' he shouted confidently. 'Correct!' yelled the ref, and everybody cheered. Barry punched the air several times while Ralph held back the tears. The crowd started stamping their feet and shouting 'cheese him! cheese him!' the ref lifted the giant fondue bowl away from the fire (as is the custom in all extreme street fondue finals) and poured the entire contence of the pot over Ralph's head. Barry chuckled to himself as he thought of his prize, a solid gold cheese grater, a solar powered cheese tostie machine and a life sized statue of himself made from a cheese of his choosing by the most incredible cheese sculptor.

The rowdy crowd shuffled away. The 'urban cheese paraphernalia of the year award' was soon to be announced. It was rumored to be another win for European champion Florence Twidle with her multi award winning cheese gun, which she invented when she accidental put a cheese string in a glue gun.

The End.

p.s I would like to thank www.cheese.com for their help with the cheese spellings in this story.