The Naked Horse Lady

This week I organised a group of people called 'studio' to come to an arts event which on a poster discribed itself as a 'magical live art comedy experience.' On the day of the event which was held in the gallery I work it, I asked a few people who had been before what it was like and it was discribed as 'the worse preformance I have ever been to' which made me a bit nervous as to what the people I'd invited would think. I was still trying to redeem myself from the last time I organised something cultural which was going to a open mic poetry event in a hippy drug den where the first poem read out I would describe as in the 'angry lesbian' genre. It wasn't atually that bad once it got going, and I had a nice chat with the angry lesbian after and she was atually quite friendly.


So this live art comedy thing started with the most unfunny couple in the world saying unfunny things to each other, it wasn't even funny in the 'it's funny coz it's not funny way' it just wasn't funny. The they left the stage and a woman who was wearing absolutly nothing except a pair of red shoes and a rubber horse's head walked on to the stage and talking in a belguim accecent about being a horse, but thinking she was a different horse to the one she was. it want on for a quite a while, I tryed to look at my friends in a sorry-for-bringing-you-here sort of way but unfortunatly there's not some kind of international sign language for 'I didn't intend to make you pay to see a naked woman with a horses head' the horse lady then started walking into the audience and decided to sit down on the seat next to my friend Hazel who had never been to a studio event before and probably never will again. The horse lady asked Hazel to stroke her....what do you do in this situation?! no one wants to stroke a naked lady who's wearing a horse head but then it's a bit rude to refuse to do something by a woman it one of the most vunrable positions ever..naked with very little vision infront of an audience. Hazel was very diplomatic and stroked the head of the horse not the atual woman. There are two life lessons that I will take away from this experience: first never take people to live art events you know nothing about and second be prepaired for every eventuality even if it is as unlikely as knowing what you would do if a naked woman with a horses' head asks you to stroke her. I quite often prepaire myself for the senario of a man holding me at gunpiont and saying 'is a sausage dog a dog or a sausage?' or ''is a hotdog a dog or a sausage?' me and my housemate Danni do it to each other at random intervals just to test our reflexes, but I think I need to branch out to more surreal senarios just in case.