Christmas

Today is not Christmas it's my birthday 'HOORAY!' 'WOOPEE!' 'CONGRATULATIONS!'

Thanks- but I can't tell you anything about it now because I have to write in chronological order, and before my birthday came Christmas, New Year, and our Berlin Trip.

The Great thing about Christmas, now that I'm married is double presents. If you are unmarried and yet to be conceived here is a list how to maximize you present gaining potential. But before you read them I'd just like to say I don't do all of these things, and I do actually like buying people gifts, and Christmas is all about Jesus. I'm just saying if your sole aim in life is to receive more than you give you should do these things:

1) Be the oldest sibling in your family
2) Have many younger siblings
3) Marry someone who has many younger siblings.
4) Prevent your sibling from gaining partners or children by giving them gifts that make them look ugly.
5) Be the first of your family to marry.
6) Have many children.
7) Write thank you letters to all the relatives for which a thank you letter is a deciding factor.
8) Try and encourage you parents to divorce.
9) Make sure your God parents aren't also other relatives who would get you a present anyway.

 most of these work around the fact that when you get married you can just buy the same kind of things you always buy for your relatives and sign them 'from the Joneses' but they often feel obliged to get you two separate presents. I didn't make that rule by the way I'm just stating what society has deemed to be the rules.

So we spent Christmas time in Southport, Coventry and London, and my funnest moment was when an american man who is so distantly related to me that I can't remember the link, was talking about the Isle of Mann and he said 'Can you get a ferry there' but because of his accent it came into my ears as 'Can you get a fairy there.'

That's not especially funny unless you can imagine a middle aged american man ridding a little fairy. Which I could so I laughed and my sister laughed because she knew why I was laughing, but we never really explained why we were laughing to the man.

Wow I think I've pretty much offended my entire family with this post, sorry about that. Love you guys. I really do.

Merry Christmas xx