End of a Era

Today at the age of 26 and a quarter, I am announcing the end of a 12 year long bikini wearing era. After trying to swim a km once a week for the last 6 weeks or so I have finally decide to stop wearing my bikini that is made from triangles the size of cheese triangles. I bought a proper grown up woman's swimsuit that sucks in the tummy. It's got polka dots on it and it's pretty. I try and swim 40 lengths in 35 minutes which I feel is significant progress considering that my personal goal a few months ago was not to get my hair wet.

After believing I was 7 1/2 stone for the past decade I was a bit surprised to discover that I am actually 8 1/2 stone. Annoyingly my excuse about not weighing enough to give blood will not work anymore (you have to be 8 stone.) I got sent a letter asking me to give blood today, and that's partly what prompted buying a new swimsuit, I want to get in shape or those blood sucking leaches that are the NHS will guilt me into donating. I already became a organ donor last month but that will not satisfy them. I'm giving everything but my eyes, I know I'll be dead but I don't want someone else wandering around with my eyes after I'm gone.... that's creepy.

I definitely don't want to give up my body to science either. I don't want some first year med student poking around and laughing at my dead naked body. I wouldn't mind giving up my body for art though, I wonder if there's a form to fill in for that? I wonder if you could get paid in advance for it? I almost donated my baby teeth collection to an artist once. Then I decided not to, you never know when there will be an emergency and you'll urgently need a pot of your own baby teeth.