Here is a copy of the letter I just sent to cheesestring:
Dear Cheesestring,
I had a funny thought a while ago which was ‘what would happen if you put a cheese string in a glue gun’ a couple of days ago at my friend’s cheese and wine birthday party I tried it out. Initially it didn’t really work because cheese string cheese isn’t solid enough to be pushed through a glue gun so we moulded some cheader to the right size and amazingly with a bit of poking it worked…the gun melted the cheese which could then be squirted into a cracker or whatever. All this was a silly experiment, but I actually think that the ‘cheese gun’ could be a marketable product. I think the target market would be young boys and maybe students anyone that like to have a bit of fun with their cheese really.
I realise health and safety might be an issue but I’m sure it is possible to create a hygienic low heat gun, maybe battery powered. I honestly think this could boost your sales, and I think that you would be the perfect kind of fun company to bring out such a product.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Hannah Jones.
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Friday, 17 February 2012
Bath Toys
How many bath toys is too many bath toys for a couple with no children to own?
We have 12 and I think that is definatly too many. 'How did it that happen!' I here you cry, well it's not an interesting story but I will tell you anyway.
I had a plastic frog that I think was a present from ampsterdam when I was a teanager.
Then we bought our house an it came with 3 rubber ducks in a bowl of glass beeds in the bathroom.
Then we had a underwater themed fancy dress party and our friend Lydia came as a pond and left behing 3 frogs that were attached to her.
Then my sister gave us two colour changing rubber ducks and some bath disco lights that work underwater. (However they don't work underwater if they're not screwed together right)
Then Dan went and did our Asda shop and asked me if he could get me a little present, I said yes because I love presents and he came back with 3 plastic fish. I tryed to give him a look of 'I apericiate the gesture' without giving him the impression that I love that our bath is full of plastic kids toys and it is the perfect present. I have since informed him that if he has £2.50 to spend on a gift for me from asda he should go for a nail varnish.
Here ends the most borring blog I have ever written.
We have 12 and I think that is definatly too many. 'How did it that happen!' I here you cry, well it's not an interesting story but I will tell you anyway.
I had a plastic frog that I think was a present from ampsterdam when I was a teanager.
Then we bought our house an it came with 3 rubber ducks in a bowl of glass beeds in the bathroom.
Then we had a underwater themed fancy dress party and our friend Lydia came as a pond and left behing 3 frogs that were attached to her.
Then my sister gave us two colour changing rubber ducks and some bath disco lights that work underwater. (However they don't work underwater if they're not screwed together right)
Then Dan went and did our Asda shop and asked me if he could get me a little present, I said yes because I love presents and he came back with 3 plastic fish. I tryed to give him a look of 'I apericiate the gesture' without giving him the impression that I love that our bath is full of plastic kids toys and it is the perfect present. I have since informed him that if he has £2.50 to spend on a gift for me from asda he should go for a nail varnish.
Here ends the most borring blog I have ever written.
Saturday, 11 February 2012
My Comedy Career Starts Here!
Last monday a did my first ever bit of stand up comedy, it was only for 5 minutes but the "fame" has gone to my head a bit. I did think the day after 'I could be a comedian...I already do my own self assesment tax returns and that's probably the hardest bit' I think I've realised now that when your only doing 5 minutes and the place is full of your friends and your a the only girl doing it, and it's your first time, your probably not going to get heckeled or anything. People would probably laugh anyway whatever you said.
I tryed to tweet my comedy at some comedians without much success. I've realised now that I should have asked them to retweet it instead of saying 'what do you think of this?' They're hardly going to come round and offer to be my personal comedy mentor (although they really should.) Dan said today that if I ever did get famous he'd worry that I'd go off and buy something crazy like a house made of cheese without asking him first. but what's crazy about that?! Here is my comedy clip, but you were probably there or have already seen it. Thanks for coming if you did, it was brilliant to have so many friends there.
http://youtu.be/FvTy0hasXQI
I started off talking about a dream I had where I'm a pond and a horse is drinking, me but that's a really sain dream compaired to the one I had last night. Last night a drempt that an angry guinen pig got inside my arm and stated sewing me up up on the inside. I had to keep pulling theads out of my skin and then it got even more angry and started to do the same but with metal chains, so I had to keep pulling chains out of my skin. It's probabley hard to imagain. Hopefully soon they will invent a iphone app that records your dreams and then you can upload the best ones to you tube. It would make blogging easier.
I tryed to tweet my comedy at some comedians without much success. I've realised now that I should have asked them to retweet it instead of saying 'what do you think of this?' They're hardly going to come round and offer to be my personal comedy mentor (although they really should.) Dan said today that if I ever did get famous he'd worry that I'd go off and buy something crazy like a house made of cheese without asking him first. but what's crazy about that?! Here is my comedy clip, but you were probably there or have already seen it. Thanks for coming if you did, it was brilliant to have so many friends there.
http://youtu.be/FvTy0hasXQI
I started off talking about a dream I had where I'm a pond and a horse is drinking, me but that's a really sain dream compaired to the one I had last night. Last night a drempt that an angry guinen pig got inside my arm and stated sewing me up up on the inside. I had to keep pulling theads out of my skin and then it got even more angry and started to do the same but with metal chains, so I had to keep pulling chains out of my skin. It's probabley hard to imagain. Hopefully soon they will invent a iphone app that records your dreams and then you can upload the best ones to you tube. It would make blogging easier.
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Keeping Warm
It's cold at the moment, I am not a fan. It should either be properly winter like snow and stuff or hurry up and be summer time. But fear not, I have some handy tips on keeping warm. I shall list them in order of sensibleness from 'weird but do-able' to 'nonsense'
1) I discovered yesterday that a snog with your husband/ partner/ fellow snogging enthusiast, is very nice if they have just downed a cut of hot tea .....mmmm, it's like a hot water bottle for you tongue. On the other had if they have just motor biked 30 miles in the ice stay away!
2) nose muffs -yet to catch on but a definite gap in the market.
3) I think I am building up an immunity to heat. I used to have 90% hot water baths with 10% cold water but now I go for 100% hot and I add more hot after 10 minutes. I also put boiling water in my hot water bottle even though you're apparently not meant to. I am now wanting to find a liquid that boils at around 120'c so I can be hotter for longer. I will buy a hot water bottle to the first scientist to get me some.
4) building a time machine and going back to 1985 when I was in the womb.
1) I discovered yesterday that a snog with your husband/ partner/ fellow snogging enthusiast, is very nice if they have just downed a cut of hot tea .....mmmm, it's like a hot water bottle for you tongue. On the other had if they have just motor biked 30 miles in the ice stay away!
2) nose muffs -yet to catch on but a definite gap in the market.
3) I think I am building up an immunity to heat. I used to have 90% hot water baths with 10% cold water but now I go for 100% hot and I add more hot after 10 minutes. I also put boiling water in my hot water bottle even though you're apparently not meant to. I am now wanting to find a liquid that boils at around 120'c so I can be hotter for longer. I will buy a hot water bottle to the first scientist to get me some.
4) building a time machine and going back to 1985 when I was in the womb.
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
War Horse
I recently went to see the film 'War Horse' with my lovely husband. We find it difficult to see films together because Dan likes 'Bang bang films' and I like 'ooooh ahhh films' I don't like mushy American girly films- they are silly. I like thinky films, I don't like films where more than 3 people get shot, and I refuse to see films where people have pointy ears- I just can't empasise with them.
That's why we thought that War Horse could be a film that we both like, Dan likes war and I like horses. Other films we could see together include
machine gun turtle
door mouse massica
guinea pig genocide
or exploding puppy dogs
I quite liked the film but Dan said it had too much horse and not enough war. Just at the end as everyone was in tears he said quite loudly 'As if I could give that much of a poo about a horse! it will be glue soon'
Here is a really good illustrated review of War Horse it's much better than this blog entry.
http://thehairpin.com/2012/01/war-horse-an-illustrated-review
That's why we thought that War Horse could be a film that we both like, Dan likes war and I like horses. Other films we could see together include
machine gun turtle
door mouse massica
guinea pig genocide
or exploding puppy dogs
I quite liked the film but Dan said it had too much horse and not enough war. Just at the end as everyone was in tears he said quite loudly 'As if I could give that much of a poo about a horse! it will be glue soon'
Here is a really good illustrated review of War Horse it's much better than this blog entry.
http://thehairpin.com/2012/01/war-horse-an-illustrated-review
Thursday, 26 January 2012
Stationary Purgatory
A song by Hannah Jones:
Verse 1:
I was playing with my blob of blue tac,
it rolled away from me, and I want it back,
but it went to a place where few can escape,
it's in stationary purgatory.
chorus:
Stationary Purgatory,
That is where I know my blue tac will be,
it fell down the radiator,
I hope I'll see it later,
When I rescue it from stationary purgatory.
Verse 2:
I tried to poke it out with a ruler,
I enlisted the help of my friend called Tallulah,
we poked and we prodded but we dropped the ruler,
into stationary purgatory.
Verse 1:
I was playing with my blob of blue tac,
it rolled away from me, and I want it back,
but it went to a place where few can escape,
it's in stationary purgatory.
chorus:
Stationary Purgatory,
That is where I know my blue tac will be,
it fell down the radiator,
I hope I'll see it later,
When I rescue it from stationary purgatory.
Verse 2:
I tried to poke it out with a ruler,
I enlisted the help of my friend called Tallulah,
we poked and we prodded but we dropped the ruler,
into stationary purgatory.
Saturday, 14 January 2012
8 things
1) never go to Google image search and type in 'string' if you want a picture of string I'd try 'ball of string'
2) I have renamed my bank 'Santan-dur' because they are stupid. According to their customer service people, internet banking doesn't work if you get to their homepage via google.
3) Yesterday I was teaching Aztec art to year 5s and I heard the teacher say 'good artists are ALWAYS good tidy-uppers' errrr not true! I might even argue that untidy people are more likely to be good artists.
4) I recently asked Dan what he would prefer I gave him out of a wild boar a wild hoar or a wild chore? he answered a wild chore like cutting down trees or something.
5) I dreamt about Lady Gaga's wedding dress it was quite a traditional princess style apart from it was a 2 person dress for her and her husband to wear together. They waddled down the isle facing each other like syamise twins.
6) I have recently joined twitter, I don't fully get it yet, but I was pleased when I saw this fight between Pete waterman and my Dad on BBC breakfast and was able to find Pete on twitter and tell him to back off my Dad. Unfortunately I did it wrong the first time and accidental had a go at a Chinese person. Here's the clip: http://youtu.be/0Rtgk-pIU1w
7) oh yeah the fight (and it wasn't really a fight at all) was because HS2 is going ahead despite the fact I told my MP I didn't want it. You can read about her and her hypnotic eyes here: http://thewonderingsofwibble.blogspot.com/2011/12/my-hypnotic-mp.html
8) Dan is doing some kind of computor training internet thingy called sissco, and I thought 'where have I heard that before' and then I typed sissco onto you tube and relised he is the man that sang 'The thong song.' watch the hilarious video of a black man with dyed white hair from the year 2000 here http://youtu.be/Oai1V7kaFBk
2) I have renamed my bank 'Santan-dur' because they are stupid. According to their customer service people, internet banking doesn't work if you get to their homepage via google.
3) Yesterday I was teaching Aztec art to year 5s and I heard the teacher say 'good artists are ALWAYS good tidy-uppers' errrr not true! I might even argue that untidy people are more likely to be good artists.
4) I recently asked Dan what he would prefer I gave him out of a wild boar a wild hoar or a wild chore? he answered a wild chore like cutting down trees or something.
5) I dreamt about Lady Gaga's wedding dress it was quite a traditional princess style apart from it was a 2 person dress for her and her husband to wear together. They waddled down the isle facing each other like syamise twins.
6) I have recently joined twitter, I don't fully get it yet, but I was pleased when I saw this fight between Pete waterman and my Dad on BBC breakfast and was able to find Pete on twitter and tell him to back off my Dad. Unfortunately I did it wrong the first time and accidental had a go at a Chinese person. Here's the clip: http://youtu.be/0Rtgk-pIU1w
7) oh yeah the fight (and it wasn't really a fight at all) was because HS2 is going ahead despite the fact I told my MP I didn't want it. You can read about her and her hypnotic eyes here: http://thewonderingsofwibble.blogspot.com/2011/12/my-hypnotic-mp.html
8) Dan is doing some kind of computor training internet thingy called sissco, and I thought 'where have I heard that before' and then I typed sissco onto you tube and relised he is the man that sang 'The thong song.' watch the hilarious video of a black man with dyed white hair from the year 2000 here http://youtu.be/Oai1V7kaFBk
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