how not to tell off teanagers

1) Don't accidently quote Micheal Jackson songs.

2) Don't Laugh.

3)If you have done the two above things don't go back to being serrious again, there's just no point.

These are the invauble lessons that arn't being taught to me in my 'children and young people in society MA'

We were singing 'Man in the Mirror' the one that starts :
I'm gonna make a change,
for once in my life,
It's gonna feel real good gonna make a difference
gonna make it ri---ght.

So I took her outside to tell her off for messing around and then for some reason I acidently used the phrase: so are you going to make a change?

and then I thought - 'those are the lyrics from the song how embarrasing' but instead of prending I didn't realise, which with hindsite would have been the sensible thing to do, I thought 'I'll just pretend I did it on purpose and carry on'

So I atually said: So are you gonna make a change...for once in your life? thankfully I did stop there and didn't continue with 'it's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference ect.

but I did burst out laughing and so did she, and then I tried to go back to being a serious teacher again by saying 'go back in' in my scaryist teacher voice.

book tokens are silly

Dear anyone who still buy me christmas presents, thanks for your support dispite my lack of thank you letters.

On a totally unrelated matter, book tokens are silly...When I was younger I thought that book tokens would cost less than money e.g a £10 book token would cost about £9, or else why would anyone swop a tenner which is like a voucher that can be used anywhere or saved for a voucher that has limitations? The one good thing about book tokens is exitement that comes when you've used your creativity to swop your token for something other than a book, I think may be world chapion in most amount of non-books bought with a book token. My proudest achivement was getting a subway sandwidge out of my dyslexic budget, by buying books worth £40 for people and them getting me lunch in return.

firber-glass penguins

This weekend I went to visit my penguin. My penguin is almost as big as me and made from fibre-glass. It is hollow which means you can get inside it and although it really smells you can scare people quite a lot by making slight movements.

I've been commisioned to paint this peguin which will form part of a city wide display of giant penguins, that's coming out at christmas. Weird I know, but it's atually a good money making sceam, they've done it before with superlambananas (which is a scupture made of half a lamb and half a banana.) businesses pay a lot to sponcer a pengin, a lot of people come to liverpool to visit the penguins which generates money for liverpool, and artists get paid well and then at the end they aution off the penguins and make a lot of money for charity, so everyone is happy. So the penguin thing is basically an idea someone had to drag out the superlambanana thing which made everyone rich, But the cover story is that the penguins highlighting the issue of climate change.

So I went to the penguin factory at the weekend which is at liverpool inovation park. I spent a good 15 minuits wondering around an empty car park before I found some primative forms of life in the security hut. That was a bit harsh, their ok but they kept call petal and pumkin and other ridiculus names that only a grandmother should say. I then eventually found the door to the penguin rooms and walked through 3 rooms filled with hundreds of white penguins staring at me in a creapy way before I eventually forund some real life people.

Exercise Bikes

Hello....I haven't written a lot recently I blame sky. I moved into my new house on 1st August and we still do not have internet that is how much sky suck. Although I also have a passionate hatred for Virgin Media, T.V licencing and the monkey that has been given the responsibilty of processing all the job seekers allowence claims in the world, and also who ever decided to give that responcibility to a monkey!

I keep thinking of odd things I could write about and then they float out of my head before I can make them into a fully formed blog when I'm a work or whatever, which is where I am now. I do enjoy the evening shift. Virtually no responcibily and a free supply of chocolate and tea and internet.

So anyway I think today I will talk/rant about exercise bikes, because I find the conceept of exercise bikes hilarious. There are so many gadgets that try to save us time and energy, but here is an invention that wastes both. people who are super rich and have all the time and energy saving devises in the world, than have an excess of energy which they need to use up so they join a gym.

I am a real life cyclist, that means when I am on my bike I am not in a cosy gym watching T.V, am in the real word, I can get rained on and verbally abused by scallies and hit by cars. But I have three good reasons for cycling:

1) Every month I save £48 (that is what I would spend on the bus)

2) It is just as quick to get to my work in the city center by bike, and it halfs the time I would take getting to my job in anfield which I would have to get 2 buses to.

3) Excercise (I'm not that bothered about this but it's an added bonus.)

So it's like killing 3 birds with 1 stone.

Whereas cycling mashine has many cons:

1) you have to pay to use it.

2) you're using up your own free time on it.

3) however hard you pedal you will never get anywhere.

so that is like three birds attacking one stone and pecking it to death.

hmmm ...I'm not sure I want my blog to end in the word death, it's a bit negitive and I'm atually in a good mood. I've just had some good news atually and only one person know so far, (not including the person that told me) it is not regular good news like getting a new job or having a baby. I've just found out I've been comissioned to paint a giant fiber glass penguin.

Sharing A Granchild

I've recently been to france and met all of Dan's french family, he is half french. So we stayed with his french granparents who he calls Mammie and Pappy I'm not sure what I am ment to call them, I think they will be one of those people that I will never use there name to there face, like teachers when you have left school for a bit. In fact they did all have nic names so that we could chat about them without them hearing there names and wanting a translation of everything we're saying, not that we were saying anything horrible, just things that weren't important. For example Pappie's nic name was the clock because clocks= grandfather clook = grandfather = Pappie. and he didn't know what the english word clook was so it was fine.


Anyway the point of this story is that Helen is a very good friend of mine, and I hope I will be friends with her forever but I've thought that about people before and then I've lost touch with them a bit when I've moved away or whatever so I think the only definate way that we will still have contact when we're properly old is if we were related in some way. The most logical way would be if we became sister's in law, but we are both in all girl families so the only way to become sisters in law would be to marry brothers, and I'm already quite fond of Dan and his only brother is 17 and helen is 25 and that would be wrong!

So we're on to plan B sharing a granchild. There are pros and cons with this, cons we won't be related for another a least 20 years but problably more like 35 and if we both have all girls or all boys it won't work, but pros we can marry who we like, and I think there's a fair chance of our children liking eachother because, Me and Helen like each other and she also fancies ginger so basically If I was a man she probably would fancy me. so If I pass on the ginger gene and she passes on the fancing ginger's gene (if that is a gene) were on to a winners and were can have christmases together when were 80. Sorted!

we worked this out ages and ages ago but now Dan lives with Helen, (that's a bit were attually imagain if your grandad from one side was once housemates with your granny from the other side.) so yeah we were talking about our holiday in france and how Dan's Mammie taught him to make gallets which is like a savory pancake, and I said to Helen 'Dan is going to pass this knowledge on to his granchildren....who will also be your granchildren!' and then Helen got freaked out when she remebered the plan, esspecially when I wouldn't leave it and asked here to bick what granny name she wanted like gran or Nan or grandmar or whatever. she said we could decided on that another day, but I hope she lets be have Nana so I can be Nana Hannah. Watch this space (well not litrally this space wach her's or my offsprings womb.)

being blond

I'm being a bit blond at the moment, I don't mean the sun has bleached my hair. I mean metaphorically blond. I went to work on monday at 10am and after two hours my boss said, 'your not on the rota' so I got sent home. This really wasn't a good day for me to get sent home either because I've just moved house and the people who lived in the house before were very smelly and dirty boys, and monday was the day the cleaners were in all day shampooing the carpets.

But don't be sad, there is a happy ending! As I was walking out I was telling the guys who work on the kids art activieties (which I also do sometimes) how silly I am and they said, can you stay and help us we're one person short. so it all worked out great and you get paid over twice as much to painting with kids as you do to talk to difficult people on the phone and try and operate the evil booking system know as patron base.

So the moral is being blonde pays off.

I made an elephant

I made an elephant, it was fun.

That part of the blog was written in the style of my summer holiday 1993 diary which I was forced to write every single day, which I resented and still do!! when I gave it in at school mine was by far the best in the class and I got 2 merits but I remeber thinking 'that was not worth it all that hard work a whole summer ruined by school work, just for two merits! rubish!!

I am moving house in 10 minutes. bye.